[embracinglife]

I really need more friends in real life. Does anyone have advice for making more friends?

I am 22, and I feel like when I stopped drinking when I was 19, it was harder for me to meet people my age, because a lot of people my age go to parties and bars to hang out and meet people. Any advice? I don't really like to be around people when they're excessively drinking and don't go to bars.

I have a few friends, but not enough...and I have a hard time getting close to people.

[Nightside of Eden]

It is hard to meet people who are genuine and good friends. I'm 21, and really don't make friends my own age very often. Lately a lot of my "real life" friends have actually come from the internet, people who I developed a relationship with through the computer to begin with and then travelled to meet.

You could try getting involved in some activities where you will meet people with at least one interest in common. My husband and I have met a lot of good people through our boating club. You could take an art or writing class, or get involved in volunteer work. That way you would meet people who are interested in something other than drinking and clubbing.

And don't dismiss people because they are not your age. Most of my friends are a lot older than I am.

[embracinglife]

thanks for the advice.

[Nola22]

embracinglife, I have an idea of what you're facing, as I had a group of friends for whom drinking was the sole means of socializing. It became wearying for me in many capacities, and though I never quit drinking entirely, I did not wish to attend events with those friends as frequently as the emphasis always seemed to be how trashed everyone could get. I did attempt to hang out with them for awhile without indulging in alcohol consumption to the same degree they were, but they gave me such hell for it I started cutting them out of my life, bit by bit. I too wondered where I was going to find a few other friends, and I'm happy to say I have, though not without effort.

Nightside of Eden has made some sound suggestions; I second her viewpoints on not letting age be a factor in friendships, and that quality folks can be met and befriended online. Let your interests and passions guide you and be willing to participate in group activities at school, at your religious organization (if you have one), or in your neighborhood. Meetup is a good site to consider if you're looking for casual outings or interest-based groups...though I'm not really trying to shill for them here. I've met awesome people thanks to that site, however.

Please keep in mind that you should aspire to quality over quantity, however cliched that sounds, as I noticed you wrote you have "a few friends, but not enough." If you have a few close friends with whom you enjoy life and have satisfying interactions, you're doing well. You don't need dozens of people around you for the sheer sake of numbers. I'm not being accusatory, merely cautionary. While it's great to have the adulation of a crowd, an intimate group of friends who truly care for one another is where true bonding and growth are possible.

All the best to you, embracinglife. By the way, I find your user name inspiring.

[embracinglife]

yes i agree with you, but...i do have some close friends, but they're spread out and live all over the place, so I do need more friends that live close to me.