[Jenn1fer82]

Am I asking too much from my bf? Are my expectations too high? We've been together for 2 yrs now and today I told him to not contact me until he gets his life back together. I tried so hard to help him get his life together bc I knew that our relationship won't have a chance until he fixes his problems. He was suspended from work for about a week now and today he got the official news that he's been laid off. During this time I kept telling him to talk to unemployment, child support and to put in applications for work to prepare for the worst. I don't know what it was but he kept telling me that he'll call and for me not to worry so much. It doesn't seem like he worries or panic as much as I would like for him to. He would still rather go to other people and get their advice but when I suggest him information to help him he just won't listen to me. I felt that he just didn't want to deal with his problems. I feel that I always have to shove things into his face and panic for him to finally face his problems. Its the same thing when I came to dealing with his child support/custody issues. It is so overwhelming and it drains everything out of me. I want to spend my life with him but damn this is not the style of life I want to live in for the rest of my life. I love him but I can't accept the issues that exist in his life.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Jenn1fer82

Am I asking too much from my bf? Are my expectations too high? We've been together for 2 yrs now and today I told him to not contact me until he gets his life back together. I tried so hard to help him get his life together bc I knew that our relationship won't have a chance until he fixes his problems. He was suspended from work for about a week now and today he got the official news that he's been laid off. During this time I kept telling him to talk to unemployment, child support and to put in applications for work to prepare for the worst. I don't know what it was but he kept telling me that he'll call and for me not to worry so much. It doesn't seem like he worries or panic as much as I would like for him to. He would still rather go to other people and get their advice but when I suggest him information to help him he just won't listen to me. I felt that he just didn't want to deal with his problems. I feel that I always have to shove things into his face and panic for him to finally face his problems. Its the same thing when I came to dealing with his child support/custody issues. It is so overwhelming and it drains everything out of me. I want to spend my life with him but damn this is not the style of life I want to live in for the rest of my life. I love him but I can't accept the issues that exist in his life.

I would say that you might be asking in the wrong way; it sounds a bit like you are in a power struggle with your boyfriend about his life -- but it is his life. Some people react the way your boyfriend did to losing their jobs; it's as if they don't believe it can happen until it does. Give him some time to adjust to what is a big, difficult fact to swallow. I think, though, that you should seriously reconsider any long term future with him because you seem so mis-matched. If your relationship with him (even though you love him) is "so overwhelming and it drains everything out of" you -- marriage won't make that better.

[disguise123]

ah no darl ive been in your shoes......its just men they are hopeless. But i dont think u should have to push him to sort his life out.
He needs to do it, ur not his mum.
I dont know how to help u.
But i think he should figure it out, your not being too hard.

[Corus]

I would continue to move out and leave him behind, but let him know you still love him and want him in your life but you can not handle the way his problems are affecting you and your family.
Hope you can get something sorted soon.
Corus