[Kaitlyn]

What do you do when you and a really good friend of yours (who is like a big sister to you) have a falling out and you stop talking to the person? That happened to me starting last night and it got worse this morning.


Kaitlyn

[tarmyg]

Im sorry for what you are going through Kaitlyn. My wish for you is that things get better with you and your friend. You are friends for a reason...hang on to that!!

[Kaitlyn]

The worst part is that she's married to a cousin of mine....which means she's a relative of mine by marriage. We've been having minor disagreements on and off since November or December....and they've only got worse and more intense over time. This current one being the Mother of all arguments/falling outs. We were able to renegotiate each time we went through this kind of thing....but I don't know if that's going to work this time.

[Leed]

If it really bothers you, can you call her and just apologize for YOUR part in it, and ask if she can just forget it whole thing? if you're not holding any resentment about it (and I hope you're not cause that doesn't hurt anyone but YOU) perhaps the two of you can just pick up where you left off before the argument. It takes a BIG person to make the first move. And if you value her friendship, you could be the bigger person and instigate contact.

This might be hard for you to do, but it's better than losing a good friend. Friends are hard to come by. I don't think anyone has too many friends that they can afford to lose a CLOSE friend.

What do you think? Hugs, Lee

[Kaitlyn]

Originally Posted by Leed

If it really bothers you, can you call her and just apologize for YOUR part in it, and ask if she can just forget it whole thing? if you're not holding any resentment about it (and I hope you're not cause that doesn't hurt anyone but YOU) perhaps the two of you can just pick up where you left off before the argument. It takes a BIG person to make the first move. And if you value her friendship, you could be the bigger person and instigate contact.

This might be hard for you to do, but it's better than losing a good friend. Friends are hard to come by. I don't think anyone has too many friends that they can afford to lose a CLOSE friend.

What do you think? Hugs, Lee

I've contacted her through facebook messages and told her that I couldn't do the break like I thought I could and she wrote back simply saying "give it a try"......I had to ask her what she was referring to. I'm waiting to hear back from her.

It looks like she wants to work through it and try to change somethings so it doesn't happen again.

[Leed]

I sure hope so, Kaitlyn ~ Having a long-time friend like that is more important than some silly fight. I really hope that the two of you can make a go of this friendship.

Keep me posted, ok? I really care. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Kaitlyn]

Lee:

Surprisingly she and I have only been friends since the middle of September of last year! She and my cousin got married last August. But she's become a big sister to me.

[RomanSunburn]

I just want you to know I'm also having troubles with my best friend. We haven't spoken in two weeks and I'm having a lot of pain, anger, and frustration. My situation is a little different though (you can read my posts about it in this section; I won't go on about them here).

You're not alone. These things are extremely hurtful. Give her some time to maybe cool off. I agree with Leeds, apologize for your whatever part you may have played. Perhaps call her and see if she'll meet for coffee, and do it then. Or at least call her and talk to her over the phone.

Take care! Let us know how things are going.

[Kaitlyn]

Originally Posted by RomanSunburn

I just want you to know I'm also having troubles with my best friend. We haven't spoken in two weeks and I'm having a lot of pain, anger, and frustration. My situation is a little different though (you can read my posts about it in this section; I won't go on about them here).

You're not alone. These things are extremely hurtful. Give her some time to maybe cool off. I agree with Leeds, apologize for your whatever part you may have played. Perhaps call her and see if she'll meet for coffee, and do it then. Or at least call her and talk to her over the phone.

Take care! Let us know how things are going.

I think things are going to work out fine between my big sister and me. I've already apologized as much as I can already. Right now we're trying to retrain me to use "I" messages correctly---which is going rather slowly.

[Kaitlyn]

Update: My big sister and I just had a massive fight because she took me explaining things to her as venting to her. So she yelled at me in an email and accused me of crossing boundaries with her. So, as of right now she's nothing to me....not my big sister, friend or anything else.

((((((Kaitlin)))))....sounds like the two of you simply are too different or too similar to mesh.This happens.But,if she is a partner to a family member...do try to maintain cordiality in an attempt to keep an open line between yourself and your family member.Perhaps send a line...."I can agree to disagree....nevertheless....I wish you well always." Something...just so there isn't resentment.Then be sure to keep your feelings toward her private from anyone who has contact with them?I dunno?Just grasping straws.Hope things smooth.

[Kaitlyn]

Originally Posted by wolfsong

((((((Kaitlin)))))....sounds like the two of you simply are too different or too similar to mesh.This happens.But,if she is a partner to a family member...do try to maintain cordiality in an attempt to keep an open line between yourself and your family member.Perhaps send a line...."I can agree to disagree....nevertheless....I wish you well always." Something...just so there isn't resentment.Then be sure to keep your feelings toward her private from anyone who has contact with them?I dunno?Just grasping straws.Hope things smooth.

Thankfully she and I were able to work through it rather quickly last night and she realized that I need to be able to write to her when I need to vent even if she is unable to read the venting emails. I think she finally realized exactly what happens when I can't vent to her and have to turn to people who aren't that great at helping me. So, she's going to let me vent to her whenever I need to now, though she'll just delete those emails unread, instead of just having me write to her about the story I'm writing. She realized that just me writing to her helps me, so she was willing to compromise and meet me half way.