Family: I need to move on with my life. I just need to learn how to ignore it

I had to move back home and now living with my parents and my 2 siblings. Theres always this persistent problem with the 19 yr old brother and my parents have given up on setting the rules with him along time ago. I just wished he would think about the people he brings home and how it affects the people around him. He use this home as though its his bachelor pad and smokes weed as though we don't know what it is. I just want him to think about what he brings home and to keep his business to himself. Him and I had gotten into a huge physical fight just a week ago and the rules after that was I would mind my own business and he won't bring over his ever changing *****s and potheads over anymore. He's suppose to leave all that outside of the home. I don't care what he does just don't bring it around me. Well it was only a few days that my parents wont enforce their own damn rules and he started back up again. I confronted my mom and she just wanted to have a pity party and saying that she's helpless and theres nothing she can do. She's more mad at me because I'm the one making a big deal of everything. I believe that I don't have my parents supports whatsoever. Its a problem with me and my siblings but if my parents doesn't want to deal with the issue then there's nothing I can do.

Please help me with words of wisdom on how to ignore the issue. How do I hold back my feelings? How do I not take things personal and to not resent my parents? I want some peace of mind as I'm handling my own personal issues such as my health but living here everything the tension is so high and damaging.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you..it's a tough situation..I'm not sure you'll be able to ignore it. Hang in there!

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou

I believe that it is your parents house so they make the rules not you, this sounds harsh but if you want to instil any rules in the house you need to have your own home.

I would move out as soon as possible and stay away from the pot smoking brother as much as possible. And put a lock on your bedroom door, with a key.

Do you think that you could get your parents to an Al-Anon meeting? I know the issue isn't alcohol, but these meetings encompass all "drugs." There, they can learn how NOT to enable this 19yr old, and how to set boundaries and STICK to them. These meetings will empower them to take their house BACK from this little brat -- and perhaps even toss him out on his ear, which is what he needs! Tough love is hard to use, but it normally is the best course of action. It teaches the youngster that he cannot run rampant over his family.

See if you can get your Mom to go -- it's for her OWN GOOD!! Ask her if she wants some relief from this mad house, and perhaps she'll go. Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

I was in a similar situation in high school after my father died. My mother simply couldn't control my brother. They would get in physical fights. My brother was labeled a sociopath by psych workers for awhile. I had to clean up after him and do all the chores and he was really mean to me. Eventually I had to move out because he wanted to kill me. I hope you can move out soon, because that's likely the best way to get out of the situation. I would also just stay in my room and try to avoid him.

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