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New Member
Member Since Mar 2011
Posts: 3
13 |
#1
My husband of almost 17 years always accuses me of cheating and I am at my wits end! Today when he came home for lunch and we were in the kitchen...he got in the frig and saw a bag from McDonald's. (I went to McDonald's last night after college classes and did not eat all of my food.) He said, "Oh, I see did you get the munchies after having sex last night!") I walked away and was mad. I can't believe he is doing this and has been for our whole entire relationship. I graduate with my psych BA degree and I can't figure him out! He always says I can't take a joke but I am so tired of it. I have never cheated and have never given him a reason to think I am. I don't feel like he is either but I did ask him. He is so sarcastic all the time and he thinks he is funny and that I can't take a joke. I ask him...who's laughing? I know it is verbal abuse and even though I have asked him to stop...he won't. He says he has to "walk on egg shells" around me!
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
14 189 hugs
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#2
Hi Shellebelle ~ If this has gone on the whole time you've been married, you deserve an Oscar !!! Why on earth have you stayed and put up with this for so long?? Do you have children? have you stayed for the sake of the kids??? I can understand that -- I did the same thing. I was married to a very verbally abusive man for 26 years before I divorced him -- I stayed because of the kids. Little did I know that i did more damage to the kids by staying, than I would have done by leaving. But he threatened to take my kids to where I'd never find them -- and he would have too.
Bless your heart ~ you are undoubtedly miserable. Having to put up with those accusations all the time is ridiculous!! Many women would say "well, if I'm being accused of it, I might as well DO it!" You are to be applauded for NOT cheating!! He needs a therapist to find out WHY he's so untrusting, WHY he's so unsure of himself. This man has problems!!! And if you are going to stay, perhaps marital counseling would be good too. I wish you the very best ~ God bless you and please take care. Hugs, Lee |
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Shellebelle
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,260
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#3
Suggest marriage counseling to your husband. If he won't go, see if you can make an appointment for yourself. It will be money well-spent.
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2008
Location: Sunny East Coast Florida!
Posts: 6,873
16 542 hugs
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#4
i'd reply, it was awesome. wish you had been there! then see if his reaction is humorous too. (i bet it won't be).
this hubby of yours is passive agressive, don't cha think? __________________ Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2011
Posts: 3
13 |
#5
I asked him to go to counseling with me and he won't! I also asked my minister if he ever gave marriage counseling to just one spouse and he laughed and said it only works if both come. I was so put off and embarrassed that I stopped going to church. You must also know that it took a lot for me to even ask this in the first place. My children still go. Thank you for your support.
Last edited by FooZe; Mar 11, 2011 at 08:58 PM.. Reason: closed a quote tag ;) |
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2011
Posts: 3
13 |
#6
Thanks for the laugh! I never seem to think fast enough to come up with the witty replies. I think I will rehearse this in my head! lol
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Account Suspended
Member Since Mar 2011
Posts: 14
13 |
#7
Try to book an appointment for marriage counseling maybe this could help. Your husband might have a problem that he couldn't convey with you. His joke is not normal though it sounds funny to him. Mind you there are things running to his head not that you are cheating. Any person who is in normal state wont keep thinking that their wife is cheating on him.
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 8,462
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#8
I would suggest couceling. I've lived with this before. But here is something you may not have thought about. People tend to see in other, and accuse others when they themselves have that issue. I hate putting it out there like that. But when my ex- was accusing me, come to find out, he had been cheating himself. I don't know you or your husband, so I can't be a judge, but it's something to think about.
Definitley try counceling! JJ __________________ JJ Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain! My blog: http://justjoanie.psychcentral.net/ |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Aug 2009
Location: woodville, swadlincote, England
Posts: 450
15 |
#9
they say that those who accuse their partner of cheating are probably the ones doing the cheating
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