[SmackytheFrog]

Okay so here's the scoop:

I went to the Health Clinic at my college today to discuss my medication and I then was told to go talk to a counsellor (as I've been putting it off until now). So I did and I told her about my depression and feeling that the course isn't for me and how I have barely attended classes because I just don't have the motivation to go. We talked about withdrawing fromt he program and how I could return later to finish it if I ever had regrets. I filled out the paperwork and we talked about more personal issues. She ended up making me sign a suicide contract (agreeing not to hurt myself or kill myself) and we scheduled future appointments.

I tried to talk to my boyfriend about what happened as I feel that he should know what's going on and he basically dismissed me and is denying that I have depression. (Despite that he's the one having to pep-talk me all the time and is usually the one I'm sobbing on) I don't really know how to take it, but it definitely makes me uncomfortable.

Now I'm home and starting to think too much.

I'm worried about my family. They are going to be PISSED. Not that they paid for it or anything. But I have pretty much been labelled (not by choice) their only hope for not being a family of people who didn't attend post-secondary education and make "something of themselves". This is part of the reason I'm depressed; feeling like I have too many expectations riding on my shoulders. So I haven't told them yet but once I do there is going to be a never ending stream of lectures, gripes and comments about how I'm a quitter, a failure ect.

I keep trying to tell myself that I am doing what is best for me. They aren't the ones having to go through the course and they aren't the ones who are paying for it. Its not my fault they dicked around in high school and/or didn't pursue college as a mature student. I am doing what is best for my mental stability and it is my choice. If I don't feel the program is right for me then I have the right to opt out of it and to opt out of being another 10 grand in debt.

Right?

[capricorn1975]

That's right.... they don't have to live your life, and it's your life not theirs!