Attraction?

This is pathetic but I dont know where else to turn anonymously. Recently, my husband seems to have lost total interest in me (altogether). We've gone through periods of him not wanting me physically (but still wanting me emotionally - he had a porn habit which explains why he didnt want sex but wanted me emotionally) to him wanting me physically only and not being involved emotionally (he wanted sex all the time but ignored me otherwise - didnt seem to care about my emotional needs). Well now it's both. He seems to have lost interest in me completely. No sex, no touching, doesnt say "I love you" anymore, won't talk to me about anything but work (and that's limited), walks away or leaves the room when I'm talking....basically you get the point. I've confronted him and asked him if there is another woman OR if he is back using the porn and he denies both. Two weeks ago, he complained I wasnt flirtatious or romantic enough so I've been doing my best to try to "come on" to him but ironically he blows me off. I feel like a failure. I don't know how to attract him anymore. I'm NOT the BEST looking woman on Earth but I'm not too shabby so I don't know. He used to tell me "it's not about looks" and would tell me all about how wonderful his ex girlfriend Jessica was (she wasn't very goodlooking either) so I dont get it. :'( Can anyone offer advice on what I can do to put the "spark" back? I'm craving affection and been very depressed (for months now). I don't know where to turn..... we are in marriage counseling and it's not helping....the counselor doesnt see a problem with his past porn habit (his porn habit broke my heart and made me not trust him as well as severly negatively affected our sex life). Please help. :'( I will take any sort of advice.

Hello, ChipmunkGal. Have you told the counselor everything you just told us? Does your husband open up to the counselor? Indifference is worse than hate. I question the competency of the counselor if he places no credence in your feelings. About the only thing I can think of is to make sure the counselor and your husband know how devastating your husband's behavior has been -- right down to him talking about an ex girlfriend.

Good luck.

Thank you for the feedback. <3

We are still dealing with this 6 months later. Looking for new perspectives and/or reassurance. :-/

Maybe you could get some lingerie stockings and hi heeled shoes. Rent a soft core movie. Halloween's coming up, get a sexy witch costume or nurse costume. Accentuate the parts that he likes, have a little fun. Order a strip tease video and learn how to do that.
He's visual as he used to like to look on the internet give him something to look at!

Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction Is a Growing Problem
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...rowing-problem

I have to be honest.. I'm a little confused by how much work you put into this relationship. If I remember correctly, you've been having problems with this man since day one of your marriage after a very short engagement/dating period. I guess, in my opinion, if you haven't already, I would try to find a new couples therapist. I'd also suggest finding one for yourself, perhaps so you can start rebuilding your self esteem and self worth. I would also start considering whether or not this man is really worth all the effort you put forth. Best wishes