[shortiebabe]

Well im not sure how to start this out. Well i want to talk about my boyfriend.
The way we are, the things we ahve been through, things that i dont really understand.

Well we started dating 8/4/09
And i moved from home. I went from ohio, the place i love, to South Carolina, place i HATE!!
Well he is two years older than i.When we first met things went pretty fast, honestly. My family was staying ni a hotel untill we found a house and area my mother thought safe for us, she has 5 kids. Well me and him hung out all day from morning till night, it was perfect. Well all except i was doing things that were a little new to me. He was kissing me. I had made out with devin, kissed megan, and all that. But the way he did it it was feirce, strong, and hungry like. Devins were sweet and soft and i got butterflies instantly. With my boyfriend, Whose name is Scotty, it took awhile befor i got the butterflies. Then again love takes time is what they say.
So on with the story,
We were making out and then he was touching me, so i went with it. No i didnt feel violated or anything, this isnt a rape story, im saying it went fast. Well After awhile he threw me in the pool and we were all having fun, me him and the family.
As time went one i grew more sad and more sad, i missed my friends and home. He helped me would talk to me and be there for me. We were alwasy together. Well we found a home, and i was an hour away from him. We went to different schools. I made friends, he had friends. We hung out every weekend. He stayed at my house and my mother took him to school.
On 7/7/09, i lost my virginity to him. That was the night i gave him everything. It ment alot to me.
Well a few months later, after christmas, i found out he was cheating onme.
It happened like this,
He was being mean for about 2 weeks, wich i know guilt will do. He was lieing to me more, but i never said anything. And he seemed so distant. I asked him "are you cheating" he said no. I asked "do you want to be together? he said always.
So one day he took it too far, being mean, and i broke it off with him. then spend 9 hours crying and making myself sick. I begged for him back, told him how much he ment to me, for he was all i had and the only one who accepted me and cared about me. I was alone then, i needed him. He said he needs time. Then later on said yes he wants me. Then the weekend came and a girl messaged his myspace while i was uploading pix for him, he was sitting next to me, and said "how could you hurt me like this you said youd leave her for me", my heart broke. i aked him about it, he said i dont know her. I replied and said i was his girlfriend was there anything i should know. She showed up at my house with pix of them kissing and touching eachother, she was wearing his hoodie..
my heart sank and shattered. i didnt cry i didnt feel anything. i was confused and lost honestly. and he broke down tried to cut, he tried to od. i stood by him. i stayed with him, for i loved him and want no one but him. we got through it. i helped him and he helped me. but deep down i feel the pain, i see the pictures, i know its been a year, but ym trust is not easily given, and im seriously not understanding why im not over it. Then comes the next moths this were perfect again. Till he stopped wanting to see me, w broke up. For a month he wouldnt talk to me, so i talked to people and was forced to delete him off my accounts, so i did.
then he called me, begged for me back, cried and peladed, i said no, still he begged, i said yes. i gave in, i knew deep down i wanted him mor than he could ever imagine. we got back together. after a week he went home. it was summer. the 4th of july, he broke up with me, i was shattered. i spent all summer in depression, not eating crying, not sleeping, puking. I grew very sick and the only thing that kept me liveing was music tea, and two people i love. megan, my ex, and cheko, my bestie of 7 years.
Well, School started and i went through a heap load of bad things. He tried so many times to talk to me, i wouldnt speak with him.Then he sends a message "my moms kicking me out". My friend told me and i read it from her phone.
I texted him asking him what happened. His mother who never wanted me and him together and planted things in his mind because shes crazy and obsessive, no lie she takes pills, but yeah. anyways, was kicking him out. Well he had always planned to move in with me, for he turned 18. Well i started talking to him, and one day out of the blue he talked about wanted me back, wich never came up. I was ficused on moving on, and tryn to be ahppy, but as i said i did care and i wanted him happy, so i stood by his side as a friend. well, he asked to come see me, on halloween i let him stay over. he picked me up and asked me back out, i said yes with tears in my eyes, and kissed him. We smiled and laughed all night, we were having a perfect relationship again. well then we moved out of state with my family. He even stood up for me when his mother texted my phone. She said many cruel things that made me breakdown, my mom had to get me from school. He held me all day making sure i knew he loved me and wasnt going anywhere but with me. Well now we are here living together and close as ever. But still there are things i cant trust. He hides his phone, but goes through mine. He talks to girls all the time, but if i talk to a guy hes mad. Well my ex gf hurt me alot, but she has always been there for 5 years. But he dosent allow me to talk to her. me and her have helped eachother through everything, and now, i cant talk to her without him being hurt. and it pains me to do so, but i love him, so again i push aside my pain. Well hes getting mean again, hes never listeing anymore, like he used to be there, hes akways acting like im doing somthing wrong, i dont understand it. I dont even know what to think anymore, there are so many times i question why hes with me, but i belive he does love me. there are times he yells that i dont love him and i try t say i do but he pushes me away and it breaks my heart.
I dont know what i feel anymore.
Or i do, maybe, i dont know, please help...