[Doxie]

How do I not let my husbands moods trigger my depression? He gets upset really easy and becomes angry and I always blame myself. I just don't know what to do. I often let others modds affect mine too. Any suggesstions?

[SlatkaMala]

I do this too. I don't know how to stop it. I just figured I'd respond to keep the post up in the queue and let you know that you're not alone.

[shezbut]

Whew Doxie,

That is a tough Q. I think that most people fall into those situations at one time or another. Then, there are those, like us, that seem to mirror other people's moods. I have a very tough time with this tendency of mine personally.

I do know that we have to take a step back, and try to look at the situation with less emotion. Is there some way that we're contributing to these upheavals?? Taking a step back can be done, I know. I do this very regularly. The tricky part is to not react emotionally to others' emotional outburst.

You could point out that his saying ____, makes you feel as though you hurt his feelings by not talking with him about ____. Try hard to put only yourself in the situation. Rather than, "Why are you always yelling at me? What did I do wrong??" That's only going to bring more attacks. If he says that you didn't hurt his feelings, then you could reiterate that it feels as though he is angry with you. Is he angry with you personally, or is he angry about something else?

That, usually, will put the other more at ease. They can then say that they aren't angry with you, it's their boss (or whatever). And then, you can talk about what's bothering him and what he could do to work through his frustrations. OR, he could say that he is frustrated with you. Then you could ask why. Nice and straight ~ why is he upset with you? Perhaps he feels as though you two never have fun together anymore. You can justify his feelings, and tell him how you are working to get through the depression. Therapy, medication/s, avoiding depressants (drinking alcohol, eating sweets & coming "down", etc), and trying to get through. You can also point out websites and books that are aimed towards those who live with (and love) the sufferer of depression. It isn't easy. But there are resources out there to help others understand what we're going through, and let them know that they aren't alone in this world.

I hope that helps you, Doxie.

Best wishes to you and to Psych Central!

[JeanneDoe]

Give him his space when he gets that way. If you are not around his "mood" it is less likely to have an affect on you. Walk away, do something that will make you happy.
Positive self talk, over and over.
Keep telling yourself "Its not my fault"
He has his issues, they are HIS issues not yours.

I do this myself and after sometime it starts to stick.

I wish you all the best, and welcome!

[scarlet11]

I guess it's harder to not get caught up when it's someone you live with.Does he let you to walk away?