[DivorcedWoman]

I'm thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend. We both have issues. He's been clean and sober 4 years and I have BP 1. When we met I was just getting stable on my meds and was feel sensitive and a little low on self-esteem so now I'm thinking maybe I got into the relationship for the wrong reasons and may be settling.

I was married for 20 years and this is the first serious realtionship I've had since the separation 4 years ago. We have been dating 9 months.

I was very upset last weekend and vented some of my frustrations which he didn't really seem to understand or support and I was moody, irritable, etc. We parted ways that day not talking to each other. He doesn't have a license or car and he and his daughter were at my place so I took them to his place and we didn't talk that night which has never happened.

I met with my counselor the next day and I said I didn't know what do to. Call him, wait for him or what? She said there was no right or wrong way to do things so I called him and apologized for my behavior and asked him if he wanted to come over that night. He said he needed some time and did share how he was feeling but I asked how long and he said he didn't know. He did say I could call him though so we did talk all week long. I won't get into all the details but we did end up getting together over the weekend, but we both had the kids so there wasn't a chance to talk or regroup. He did finally approach me while his daughter was with us and we ended up talking a bit. He said I was blowing things out of proportion and it was a just a little break.

During this break timeframe, I read too much on the internet and started overanlyzing stuff. I made a pros/cons list, how I felt about our relationship and what I see as hurdles to a future together. I talked to my counselor about it and she said I needed to make the decision and there was no right or wrong way again. I know she is right but I wanted an opinion! I know my Mom and dear friend think my boyfriend and I have different backgrounds and values and they said they felt I might need to move on and that they felt I could find someone more in line with those things.

I do love my boyfriend, but we really do have drastic differences in these areas. After a bad manic attack, I felt as though I had a Scarlet Letter on me. I haven't had to tell many people from a dating standpoint because I was diagnosed when I was married. I'm feeling better and more self-confident about things and have been working through the pain and suffering I experienced with my illness and that somebody would want to be with me even though I have a mental illness. I'm not ready to jump ship and date or anything but I'm feeling a tad guilty that I'm leaning toward ending it. I've always told by bf everything and I don't want to be dishonest with him about these feelings but because of the recent situation I don't feel safe sharing this and I need more time to analyze things. I also want to give him a chance to do some of the things he's said he's going to do like get his license, etc. and not just end it because of this "break."

There is a lot more background to this story, but I thought a rough overview would be enough.

Thoughts, feedback, advice?