Breakup and I don't know what to do!! Help!

So this girl I have dated for almost two months and I broke up Monday. Everything went smooth, we met through a mutual friend. We had good chemistry from the get go. Talked about future goals and plans together. She has a two year old daughter and I have a three year old son. Things seemed perfect. We had so much in common it was unbelievable. I never knew I could connect with someone so quickly. She is very independent, having her own place and car at the age of 22. She was everything I was looking for.

Then, Sunday night we were drinking rum. I went home for an hour and when I came back to her place she said she was tired and wanted to sleep. I asked her if she was serious because I wanted to drink still and stay up and watch movies. It was 12:30AM but I was not thinking about that.

Anyways I told her I was going to leave hoping she would want me to stay (I did that once before and she said she would never ask me to stay). Again, was not thinking straight (probably the rum). She got hostile and said fine just go then. I immediately said okay I don't want to go and poured another drink. I then became rude with her when she continued to ask me to leave. I accused her of talking to other guys on Facebook (even though I know she wasn't and they were just commenting her statuses). I broke down and told her of my past suicidal ideations that I once had (in retrospect, what was I thinking!?!?) I even showed her my phone at one point and threw it next to her on the couch. She told me to leave and that she would drive me home. I refused saying I'd walk. I walked away and she went inside. I followed after her a few minutes later. Inside it was the same (her telling me she was going to drive me home and she didn't feel like hanging out tonight). I kept saying I didn't want to go and that I wanted to sleep there with her that night. She said once she didn't love me but when I took it hard she immediately said 'well maybe I didn't mean that.' Shortly after I told her to just call an ambulance or the cops knowing that she wouldn't call either one. Finally she drove me home around 4AM saying she would call me when she woke up.

I went to sleep and woke up at 9AM and couldn't go back to sleep. I got her favorite breakfast from Einstein Bagels and went to her place to give it to her. She accused me of guilt tripping her and stated that she was upset I woke her up. She told me to leave and take my food with me. She said she would call me and for me not to come over. I was just saddened by the way I acted the night before. That whole day I couldn't sleep and could only think of her. About 5 o'clock I figured she would be up so I went over with a dozen pink roses to apologize. She would not answer her door so I knocked on her window of the bedroom with no luck. I eventually went back home with the roses. She texted our mutual friend a few minutes later saying that I was scaring her. My friend called me to tell me this and suggested I stay away from her. I texted her and told her I didn't mean to scare her and that I was truly sorry about the night before and to call me whenever she wanted. I told her I would never act that way again because I lost the best thing in my life.

I truly meant that. That was Monday and I still have not heard from her since. I want to contact her and get back with her so bad. I can't get her out of my head and its distracting me from my daily routine. I know that absence makes the heart grow fonder and if it was meant to be she would contact me. But I am also afraid of out of sight out of mind. I don't want to lose her. I was thinking about texting her next week to find out how she was doing. I hate not hearing from her and its driving me crazy. Did I lose her for good you think? What should I do? Any advice is appreciated.

Of note is she texted my friend on Monday saying that she 'feels kinda bad about it ending the way it did but its how it has to be. I have only known him a month and a half and he has already shown me more than I wanted to see. He is too unstable.' Did I lose her for good? Would it be worth it to try to reconcile and text her next week. I am giving her a week thinking it will be enough time to cool down and forgive me. I truly care for her and hate for it to end the way it did.

Hi ToastwithButter,

I hate to say this, and I don't want this to come across mean-spirited, but I think you blew it.

You wanted control of the situation and you didn't care how you controlled it as long as you did. If this is the way you act when you are drinking, it is no wonder she wouldn't want to be around you. Would you want to be around you when you are this way?

Unfortunately, you didn't respect her either. When she told you she would call you and you continued to show up at her place and to call her and text her, it proved to her that it was all about you (even if you were really trying to apologize), you didn't respect what she was telling you.

Dating someone for 2 months does not make a life-long relationship. Evidently, something you have done has bothered her and she seems to not want to be involved with you anymore. It may be prudent on your part to accept what you have done wrong, work hard at changing that behavior and using this knowledge with future relationships. You are a young adult and still have lots to learn about yourself and others.

My suggestion is to let it be....move on with your life, learn from your mistakes, fix anything within yourself that needs fixing and you will be fine!

Wishing you well.

Thanks. I know I was selfish and I realize what I had done wrong. I have never acted like this before. We had many good times together in such a short amount of time. We really both mutually felt perfect for each other. I am beating myself up constantly over it since the incident. I can't stop thinking about it for the life of me. It makes matters worse that I have to drive by her place whenever I want to go anywhere because she lived right down the street. I just want to apologize next week to her about not listening to her and coming over and calling without her calling me first. If she decides to text back and talk to me again. Awesome. If not then I will have to swallow my pride and move on.

I feel like I need to at least give it one last shot. One last text. My son and her daughter got along great. My son does not have many playmates and it was good for him to interact with a child his age. Maybe there is a chance we can still be friends at least for our children to be playmates?

Yeah, I hope you can give her some time to think about things. Do you really think you could just be friends so that your kids could play together? As much as you are hurting right now, I don't see how that would be possible without getting into relationship side of things and that may not go so well.

I'm sorry that you are having these issues. I guess it's pretty clear that you and drinking and relationships don't mix. It's very possible that you triggered her or reminded her of someone in the past that may have abused her or hurt her in some way when you were drunk. That could be the deciding factor for her in cutting off the relationship. But I'm speculating.....but then again, you never know.

Wishing you well!

Eh I really feel your pain and it really suxs. Drinking has gotten me in trouble in the past. All I can say is learn from this, you had what you wanted right in front of you, but made some bad choices. Clean yourself up and get back out there. When I lost my cheating, drug-head, nasty ex gf I was in a terrible place, I thought I really wanted to be with her and that she would get better over time. She messed me up for about 4 months... I'm talking insomia every night to the point where the only way I could sleep was getting piss drunk. Now I look back and get angry but then laugh at how dumb I was. Anyways my point is that there will be a girl out there for you and these are the moments in our life that make us learn about ourselfs and our stupidity. Best of luck to ya bud and try to do something to take your mind off her.