[spaceid]

So I'm new at the whole relationship thing. I have a general question. How do you talk to a guy about a serious subject that concerns the both of you without freaking him out?

For example, the guy I'm with now I spend a lot of time with, but we don't spend a lot of time alone together. We are at his house a lot and his family is there all the time. How do I tell him I want to spend more time alone with him? I guess the easy answer is to just tell him, but I can be kind of blunt and want to be tactful about it.

Another example, we're going to have to have something like "The Talk" soon since I'm getting anxious about how he feels about me. It's really starting to bug me. Any ideas about that one?

Can you go for a walk just the 2 of you? That will give you a bit of time alone.

Don't push for "The Talk"...guys will tell you how they feel when they are ready. If he's spending time with you, he likes you. If you push him to tell you how he feels you might scare him away.

[madisgram]

don't know how long u've been seeing each other. if it is fairly recent -like 2 months or so-i'd just wait and see. he may just want to take it slow. rushing him may push him away. if he still lives with parents i'm assuming he's in his teens. girls mature more rapidly than guys. thus, he may just need to feel more comfortable with you before he takes the big leap!
obviously he's interested in you or u guys wouldn't be spending time together.

[spaceid]

Originally Posted by jadedmoonbeam

Can you go for a walk just the 2 of you? That will give you a bit of time alone.

Don't push for "The Talk"...guys will tell you how they feel when they are ready. If he's spending time with you, he likes you. If you push him to tell you how he feels you might scare him away.

We do go for walks sometime. The weather has been really bad lately so we haven't been able to go.

I've had people tell me to wait while others have said I've waited long enough. I'm not sure what to do. Not knowing is making me very anxious. I have to make myself cry to let out the stress.

Originally Posted by madisgram

don't know how long u've been seeing each other. if it is fairly recent -like 2 months or so-i'd just wait and see. he may just want to take it slow. rushing him may push him away. if he still lives with parents i'm assuming he's in his teens. girls mature more rapidly than guys. thus, he may just need to feel more comfortable with you before he takes the big leap!
obviously he's interested in you or u guys wouldn't be spending time together.

We've been seeing each other since February. Almost 4 months. Some people say it is not long enough, others say it is, and others say I should have had the talk with him in February. This is really confusing.

Actually, neither one of us is in our teens. He's 33 and I'm 28 (I know it seems like I should be younger since I said I'm new to the relationship thing so I understand completely why you thought that). He's back with his parents because he started university. He hasn't lived with them since his early 20s. Plus, he's not from the US and it isn't unusual that children live with their parents for a long time where he comes from. Usually the kids don't move out until they're married. His older brother still lives with his parents as well. They are a very close-knit family. I like his family a lot, but I just want to be alone with him. I don't feel comfortable talking about things unless I am really alone, but I know he doesn't mind talking about things in his living room within ear shot of everyone else. I think we just grew up in two different cultures. I need complete privacy to talk, but he doesn't. I don't know how to tell him that without it sounding like I don't want to be around his family. I adore them, but need to be alone with him to talk.

I'm not his first relationship by far, so that is why I feel like such an amateur.