[Izraehl]

My girlfriend has this sense of humor that's kind of puzzling to me, she seems to only get a good laugh at stuff that's really random... for example we were sitting a huge line and some guy walked up to it, stopped and stared at the line for a second and said "This ain't happenin' " and walked away. She thought that was hilarious and it kind of made me mad because I can't make her laugh on purpose! Then some random guy comes up and says something and she's laugh her butt off. It has to be something really random, literally, or she doesn't think it's funny. It has to catch her off guard and can't be planned, how am I supposed to work with this?

Of course she does get a few smiles from your stereotypical cute teasing that's kind of flirty in a way, but other than that I'm kind of stumped.

She says that she thinks I'm funny but I never really see it from her. Maybe I'm over thinking this. I believe her when she says I'm funny enough, but I haven't really convinced myself of it yet.

Thoughts?

[SlatkaMala]

The only way the sense of humor difference is a deal breaker if it's a mean spirited one.

[with or without you]

This is a very interesting post. But I would have laughed in that situation too, Izraehl...haha. Humor and how we react to it are very complicated things. For me, I don't get the "silly" humor, like Monty Python. It just doesn't do it for me. I like dry, self-deprecating, sarcastic humor; even humor with a bit of an edge e.g. George Carlin or Ricky Gervais. Maybe you're trying too hard, or you're coming across like you just wrote a bunch of jokes to "try out" on her? ("I can't make her laugh on purpose!") I don't know if any of this made any sense. It seems like she does think you're funny and she enjoys your company, but she just can't LOL at you...so to speak. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

[Izraehl]

Originally Posted by with or without you

Maybe you're trying too hard, or you're coming across like you just wrote a bunch of jokes to "try out" on her? ("I can't make her laugh on purpose!")

Well i didn't write a bunch of jokes haha. What I meant to say is that I'd tell her a funny story or something, or what I though was funny, and I would get no reaction out of her except for maybe a nod.

Originally Posted by with or without you

I don't know if any of this made any sense. It seems like she does think you're funny and she enjoys your company, but she just can't LOL at you...so to speak. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

It made sense. See, this is basically what she told me, that I should just 'keep doing what I'm doing' and not to really worry about it. What you said makes me feel better about the situation though. :P

I definitely agree with withorwithout you.

Are there any things where you are both laughing out loud at the same things?

There are things that my husband thinks are hysterical where i don't laugh at all.
But we do have things that we both think are so funny and we can make each other laugh pretty regularly - not so much with stories, but with little jokes and observations...I don't know how long you've been dating your girlfriend - maybe you need to be together a little longer to have these inside jokes or just to know each other's sense of humor better.

can it make or break a relationship? It sounds like it's bothering you a lot more than her. T

[Perna]

Hi, Izraehl, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). I have a sense of humor like/enjoy your girlfriend's too. It sounds like she thinks a lot of her own quirky thoughts and you haven't gotten use to how she thinks. Does she say "random" things to you sometimes?

I would collect the things that the two of you laugh at together, and bring them up in other situations, after you all have already laughed at them. I think you will feel better if you can have private things to refer to, that you both enjoy and can re-enjoy in other situations. Or, note what she laughs at herself and bring it up again, with you as the actor or modify it but only enough so she still "gets" what you are referring to. If she surprises you in the next couple days or really looks good, look at her like the guy looked at the line (but with more of a leer if she's looking really good :-) and say something like "This IS happenin!" and slowly walk toward her, appreciatively, ask if you can get in her line

[LazyLogophile]

Humor is such a personal thing. What one person thinks is hiarious someone else thinks is offensive. I've found that if I stop TRYING to be funny, I actually succeed more often! :-) She may not share the same humor, but I'm sure you do and say things that aren't supposed to be funny that really tickle her. The world is a really random place, and it's good to be able to laugh at it (I think). It's difficult, especially if making people laugh is really important to you, but try to let go of making her laugh, and just be yourself. If you tell a joke that she doesn't get, just make a note of it and keep trying different ones. If it's any consolation, I don't tend to laugh out loud at other people's jokes unless I feel obligated...because that's the weird thing about a joke: sometimes just the fact that you are "supposed" to laugh makes it not as funny, you know? Weird little moments in life that just happen naturally are far more amusing for me, and maybe for her, too?

Does she make you laugh? What does SHE do that you find funny? Why is it so important to you to make her laugh? Maybe letting go of that will help you relax and then the unexpected funny things will come naturally :-)

[BatsAndButterflies]

I kind of understand where she's coming from. I will laugh hysterically at ridiculously random things. A lot of times someone will say something really funny and I will think it's funny, but for some reason I don't laugh out loud. You just have to measure if her sense of humor outweighs what she means to you.

[thine_self_untrue]

Aww... I think it's cute that you wanna make her laugh! My bf and I have different senses of humor- he likes silly 'funny' stuff where I tend to appreciate witty randomness. I get his jokes and he gets mine, but it's not like the best joke we've ever heard. But I've noticed there's a place where our senses of humor kind of come together. When we both laugh at something, it's a often a blend of the two and its when I feel the closest to him. If you like this girl and you can appreciate her sense of humor even if you don't exactly 'get it', I say keep trying. Maybe you two can find a happy medium.

[with or without you]

Originally Posted by Izraehl

Well i didn't write a bunch of jokes haha. What I meant to say is that I'd tell her a funny story or something, or what I though was funny, and I would get no reaction out of her except for maybe a nod.


It made sense. See, this is basically what she told me, that I should just 'keep doing what I'm doing' and not to really worry about it. What you said makes me feel better about the situation though. :P

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