[zamp225]

My mother is convinced my father (her ex-hus. of 25 yrs) is gay, and she's very upset that he's getting remarried. I'm going to visit her early next month, and she wants to talk to me (again) about why "he's gay" and why my children and I shouldn't attend the wedding. I don't want to have this conversation, or any with her about my father. How should I handle this? She gets nasty when things don't go her way. I was planning on staying in her house for the visit, but I don't have to.

[lynn P.]

Is your father marrying a woman? Why would she think he's gay? I think you need to be assertive with her. This is your father and you can say - you don't want to hear negative things about your dad and you can make your own decision about going to the wedding. She has no right to tell you not to go or try to build a nasty wall between you and your dad. Even if he was gay, this is his life and this has nothing to do with him being a father. Don't let her manipulate you and you don't have to turn against your father to appease your mother - you shouldn't have to choose and after 25 yrs, she needs to mind her own business.

[AAAAA]

Hello Zamp and welcome to PC! What a tough situation. The only option I see is telling her flat out that your father's sex life has nothing to do with you. He's your father, you love him and that has nothing to do with her relationship with him or his with anyone else. Let her know that you love her, but certain topics are off limits.

If you're in a really sassy mood, remind her that SHE was the one who picked him to have a baby with.

[Direction]

I agree with the other posts...

I would be prepared to restate your boundaries a few times regarding not wanting to discuss it...be prepared to go to a hotel if she just can't stand not getting her way...