[shell020406]

i live with my in-laws for my husband is in prison. hes been there 3 years now and wont be coming home for another 8 or 10 years ( someone help me!!! ) my kids, ages 7 and 4 like being here....i do not. i hate it. with as much hate as i -can possibly have, i hate it. a number of reason for that too. my sisters in-law make every choice my mother in-law makes regarding their children, my fault. they have now said that as long as i am here, they will not allow any contact from my in-laws to their children....untill i leave.........

[shezbut]

Hi Shell020406,

Sorry, but the words in your post confused me.

Are you saying that you are living with your hub's mom and sisters, and that you don't agree with the way that they treat your children? Or you aren't allowed to talk with your sister in-laws??

Are you working? How is your relationship with your parents, and your own family?

Staying with your in-laws isn't your only option. I can assure you of that. There are government programs built to assist you and your children through this hard time. Depending on family, friends, or in-laws, to get us through for years isn't easy for any of you. All sorts of emotions get tied up in the relationship ~ personally, I don't think that it's worth it.

I'd recommend going to local government, and see what type/s of assistance you are eligible for. Waiting around (on hold) for 8-10 years is a LONG time. Kids change so much in that amount of time, physically and emotionally. Who is to say how emotionally connected you and they will be feeling connected to their daddy at that point in life. Going to see daddy regularly, while he's in, can help some. But it isn't the same. It will be a big change when he is released.

Not to mention parole. There are always little complications that can arise after prison release ~ it's as though the law is just standing there waiting for the parolee to do something "wrong". Not fun or easy for parolees.

{My ex-brother in law is/was a parolee in Ca, which is the experiences I've drawn upon to offer my opinion (perspective) to you. Hope that it helps you. Please do seriously consider the advice I've given about moving out and getting government assistance. That is the best option I can think of. Unless you already have money & a decent income, of course.}

Best wishes!

[Direction]

Also, to answer your subject line questions...yes your being miserable may affect your kids especially when it is long term.

[shell020406]

Shezbut, Sorry for the confusion. I am lost in my own mind. I live with my in-laws. But my sisters in-laws come to visit. Since I moved in they refuse to let their parents have any contact with the grandchildren because I am here. My family is no help what-so-ever. I have looked into a few government agencies for help but being in the situation I am in, they can offer no help right now. Yes, waiting for 8-10 years is a very long time. For me and the kids. My husband has very little advice for me. Just stay here and suck it up.....My daughter will be 5 yrs old pretty soon and the last time she saw her father, she was 1. He is not allowed contact with minors so taking the children to see him is out of the question. I have a very close friend that has offered his home to us but no one likes that idea.

[Direction]

Originally Posted by shell020406

I have a very close friend that has offered his home to us but no one likes that idea.

Whose included in the no one? This could be an opportunity to leave your current location...something to explore maybe?

[shell020406]

Originally Posted by Direction

Whose included in the no one? This could be an opportunity to leave your current location...something to explore maybe?

Almost my entire family is included in the 'no one'. My little sister, who is 25, is the only person who supports me in whatever decision I make. She does her best to help me when she can but she is also going thru rough times.