[my3sns]

Someone asked me today ... Why dont friends just sit and listen to one another talk now matter how long it takes , until both party's have nothing left to say. My response was .. in a perfect world that would be great , however this isnt a perfect world , people are often times too busy.. The response to that was something like well then they are really not good friends. To which i said something along the lines of what about work, children , disabled parents, doctors appts ect.. to which something was said along the lines of well you cancel appts and do what it takes to stay with that friend and unless someone is dying you stay with them........................ So i guess im a screw up at that tooooooooo. I do have to work to support my family, i go to school full time at night , i do the cooking, cleaning, laundry and sometime in the middle i take a few minutes out for myself to go to the doc , T or pdoc. Yes i make time for friends and when i cant be there at that particular minute, then i get back to them ASAP.... It made me cry listening to this conversation , there were comments made about the person who always has time for everyone ... having morals , and them being so wonderful ..........so needless to say i am now feeling like a complete failure as a friend, person ect ..not to mention how much i have been struggling in the past 3 days or so. Your damned if you do and damned if you dont !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[unaluna]

What you are describing is exactly what was said way back when Freud "invented" psychotherapy, the talking cure. Someone asked, but isn't that just what a friend would do? (listen forever, advise, etc) And Freud (I believe, or a contemporary) replied, "Ah, but where would you FIND such a friend?!"

So no need to feel like a failure. No need to reinvent the wheel! Everybody is given a limited number of hours on this earth, and talents. We are responsible to decide how best to make use of what we are given. Just because somebody asks us for something! - you know, take care of yourself so you CAN help others. That's what boundaries are for.

Given what YOU have been doing, sounds like this person should have offered YOU some help! I would, but I'm lazy!