[DespondentDaisy]

I was just about to go take out my garbage and as I was coming out of my apartment I heard some people coming down the stairs and I quickly turned around and ducked back in my apartment before they could see me (hopefully). God I suck! I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. I just took my pills, so hopefully I'll feel better soon, but I hate this. The way I am. If I could go through a day without interacting with people I would. I swear, of course after about a week I'd get lonely for human contact. I forget if I still have myself selected as having avoidant personality (but I blame that mainly on remnants of PTSD that I'm still dealing with). For the most part I'm a happy person, but it's all so draining, the down side of being a sensitive person. At least I'm not ultra sensitive like some people I've heard of. But anyways, just thought I'd share my suckiness with you all. I'm going to go have a few shots now before meeting up with my boyfriend who gets off work soon and check out the jazz festival. It'll help ease my nerves (the whiskey) after promising for the third (and final time) that I will quit smoking weed (a promise I keep going back on to my boyfriend). Yes, you could say I suck as well for that, as I'm usually not one to break promises. But then I kept telling myself I was weaning myself until I went full tilt again and back to the mindset that it was no big deal. Yut every time I stop I realize that it isnt the best (besides the health risks) but it DOES help calm me and bring out more of my creative side- but I've always been creative. I'll just have to relearn how to be more creative without weed, and hopefully without becoming an alcoholic.

[OurLadysTears]

Haha, I often do the same thing to avoid interaction. If I look out the window and see someone pull into the driveway that I don't want to see, I do the stop, drop, and roll method. There are some things that we learn in our younger years that can come in handy!

[SakuraLi]

You don`t suck actually. I think we could all be different or make different choices but try not to keep up the negative self talk. That will drag you down more. The weed and alcohol will drag you down further. Without those you`d probably feel a bit better. Anyway, stay encouraged take care. :-)