[Jenn1fer82]

Someone from my past recently contacted me to tell me how sorry he was to have hurt and betrayed me. We haven't seen or talked for almost 3 years now. When we were in contact we were each other's best friend. We knew each other for about 2-3 years and everyone always saw us together. I never saw him anything else but my best friend but things become very complicated with the last year of our friendship when he began having feelings for me.

Never once did I lead him on that we could have a chance to become anything more than just friends. I set my boundaries and made it clear that I only saw him as my friend and I wanted him to still be my friend. We were always hip to hip doing everything together and had the best laughs. We both depended on each other for support. WE WERE BEST FRIENDS!!

The last year of our friendship was very shaky and I tried to stay friends with him but everything just blew up to where he had made the horrible choice of while I was drunk he ended up sleeping with me. I felt so betrayed by him bc he knew I would never want to do anything like that with him so while I was the one that had too much to drink he was still the sober one that night who knew darn well what was going on that night. I dont remember anything that night other than waking up the next morning with my clothes off. Well ever since I kicked him out of my life and with every piece of anger inside my heart I screamed and cried for him to get the hell out of my life.

Well that was 3 years ago and suddenly he contacted me through email to tell me how much he still thinks of me and that he's so sorry for that night and that he would do everything over because we were great of friends. He regretted that day for the rest of his life. He said that he wants to make things up to me and for me to allow him to do that for me. Oh I cried so bad bc I dont miss him but I miss the FRIENDSHIP that i had with him.

I responded back with a mean and nasty email to tell him to get the hell out of my life and I dont want anything to do with him. Since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about what had happen. I'm reminded of the pain and disappointment all over again and sadly enough I find myself thinking about the friendship I had with the guy. I even thought about facebooking the guy but nononononono I can't do that to myself. Im just not thinking right!!!

My feelings are so conflicting and I feel so sick in the head. How can I miss something that had betrayed me in every way. I thought I had moved on from that time of my life but now I'm pushed back to that time and I'm emotionally drained.

[Hope_Walker]

You miss the happiness and trust that once was Jennifer. It's not wrong nor sick at all, because as humans we always look for what was once good and right when we're in difficult times or pain.

What he did years ago was wrong and a terrible betrayal of many things you held close to your heart. What he's done now made you remember all the fear, anger and sadness. You did the right thing in your response to him.

Don't feel alone either. You're better and stronger inside than you realise.

[Open Eyes]

I am sorry to hear about your struggle, he was obviously getting increasingly attached to you and even though you set a clear boundary, he just couldn't
accept it. Sometimes when a person falls in love with another person they cant seem to believe that their feelings cannot be reciprocated.

I think that you have moved on and yes, you are reminded of his invading your trust.
But you have moved on. You need to continue to do so. You have to think of your welfare. You may miss the friendship but he clearly overstepped his bounds. So what really happened is that you just cannot look at him the same comfortable way you used to, that is also part of what you miss and part of your anger is that he did actually change that trust factor so he took more from you than just a friendship.
And to be honest, you were incapacitated and he knew it, that is pretty much date rape in my book. Especially since you clearly drew boundaries and that is saying NO.

I can't blame you for feeling conflicting feelings because you miss the trusting friend, well he wasnt so trusting after all now was he and he took advantage of you in a bad way.

MOVE ON, make the decision to not ever lay down and be a doormat for anyone. He had his chance he blew it, not you.

Open Eyes