[LittleForgetMeNot]

i've been seeing this guy for a month now.. i've known him for over a year.. and I like him.. so much.. But this morning I got a message from a friend of his. She tells me he's flirting, holding hands and hugging one of her friends.. I'm hurt, and confused.. and I just got out of a relationship where there was cheating. I only just got over it and now.. I don't even know. I called him wanting to ask what was going on but once hearing his voice I was so near tears that I couldn't even get the words out and just hung up.

I don't know what to do.. I mean chances are this is just a misunderstanding.. I had no doubts he liked me.. I mean he's cried for me.. and has never done anything wrong.. Everything felt so perfect until a few moments ago and I don't know what to do.. What do I do? How am I supposed to ask him about this?

[torotsigns]

You guys may have known each other a long time, but you've only been dating a short time right? Did you already have an agreement that it was exclusive? Guys can be kinda clueness sometimes and if you don't spell it out, they might not get that you THOUGHT it was exclusive.

[LittleForgetMeNot]

Originally Posted by Gruuvigirl

You guys may have known each other a long time, but you've only been dating a short time right? Did you already have an agreement that it was exclusive? Guys can be kinda clueness sometimes and if you don't spell it out, they might not get that you THOUGHT it was exclusive.

This thought hasn't crossed my mind but it sounds familiar to what had gone on. Yesterday we met up because something like this couldn't be said over the phone, and right away he knew something was wrong and guessed what exactly and came clean even without me saying a thing. He said that he had hugged her (as good bye hugs) but never thought of it as anything more than just friends. Apparently the other girl had asked him out and he said no, and her friends had asked him if he liked her and he said no, but it seems like she didn't believe it. These girls are with him at work, and even before meeting up with me he asked to be transferred to a different location to stop the drama.

I trust him but the situation still makes me nervous. There are two possibilities here now that I will consider.. 1.) he was a little clumsy/clueless and didn't realize when flirting was flirting and ended up leading her on and her friend thought the right thing to do was to tell me about it (which seems most likely because he is quite clueless about what kind of affection is appropriate for friends to show each other) or 2.) she's bitter about being rejected and has decided best to try and sabotage our relationship..? The second is one I don't even want to deal with..

I've tried to handle this as maturely as possible by not getting too upset, trusting him as he's never given me a reason not to, and being completely understanding but there is still a nagging feeling inside. Am I handling this correctly? Essentially I'm letting him decide if he will continue speaking with them or not however I wonder if that could backfire on me.