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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2003
Location: Springfield Mo. USA
Posts: 3,501
21 
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Dec 09, 2005 at 11:15 PM
#1
First off I should say this may trigger some and I am sorry if it does...
I am having issues with my (bi-sexuality)I had a girl at my school tell me she wanted to date me, and my husband.. We have been looking for a girlfriend to add and We thoguht we had found one and that turned sour on us during our wedding.. Now this one was sweet and very effitionate with me at school says she loves me but now cant fiqure out what is going on in her life.. This I sorta understand, but Why do people always use me then when I start to "fall" for them trow me/us away.. This is the 3rd one and I am gettnig so hurt over this one.. She did something very stupid to herself and I do not fully understand why she did it, either, now she excpets me to be ok with this, and I just cant be ok with what she did.. I am at a loss this time at what to do??? __________________ 
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,467
(SuperPoster!)
22 81.4k hugs
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Dec 09, 2005 at 11:20 PM
#2
I can certainly relate to how much rejection hurts when you have trusted someone
 I am sorry this has happened to you (((((((((((((((Trish)))))))))))))))) __________________ 
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Member
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 195
19 |
Dec 09, 2005 at 11:23 PM
#3
aww, i'm sorry to hear that.
If anything, i would try talking with her at ease. maybe tell her your feelings about the situation, idk if you already did or not. But anyways, i have a question, how long did you know her for?? and...could you tell me about the other two past relationships you had?? Becuase, i'm just trying to figure out something...let me know..i want to try to help out anyway i can...PM me or just reply on here...
__________________ kick off your shoes, get on the floor 
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2005
Location: WV
Posts: 8,131
19 1,580 hugs
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Dec 10, 2005 at 01:00 AM
#4
Are you a teacher? or a student?
seeker |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,944
20
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Dec 10, 2005 at 01:37 AM
#5
I'm really sorry that you are going through this right now because you have so much on your plate as it is. I wish I could help you right now. I really do.
If there's anything I can do, IM me or PM me. I know how much this must be bothering you. Hang in there and take care. 
__________________ "When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2003
Location: Springfield Mo. USA
Posts: 3,501
21
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Dec 10, 2005 at 01:24 PM
#6
i am a student..
and so is she. I talked to her on the phone some last ngiht, but we ddi not get very far, .. oh well, I quess it was not meant to be.. __________________
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2005
Location: WV
Posts: 8,131
19 1,580 hugs
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Dec 10, 2005 at 01:40 PM
#7
Well, good to know you are not crossing the line in a teacher/student scenario. But further, you are a parent, and married to a MAN! You want to incorporate a third female party into the arrangement. Why get married at all if you have such conflicts. It's no wonder this female student is confused and acting in destructive ways. You can't have it all ways and not hurt people, Lady.
Seeker |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
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Dec 10, 2005 at 02:20 PM
#8
(((hugs))) The act of marriage is generally accepted as a commitment to one other, and a way to ease the sexual conflicts found in other relationships. Perhaps seeker has a point, dragon.. if getting married isn't going to make you completely happy, isn't going to "complete" your happiness.. maybe you need to rethink this? I'm sorry for your suffering... tc
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Dec 10, 2005 at 08:15 PM
#9
(((((((ladydragus))))))))
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2003
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,224
21
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Dec 14, 2005 at 03:09 PM
#10
LadyD:
I'm not sure that your rejection is personal. I have a few theories: THEORY A: a single female is going to feel pretty darn vulnerable in a relationship with a married couple. She could be pulling out before SHE gets too attached, because you and your husband are committed to each other, but nobody is going to make a committment to her: THEORY B: The people you are dating might be perfectly attracted to you, but after a couple of dates, might have decided that they are not attracted to your husband. A few dates seems like a reasonable timeframe to evaluate and decide not to date someone anymore. Since you and he are a package deal, the single woman HAS to break it off with both of you, do you understand? THEORY C: Even if you were not a married couple or dealing with a bisexual situation, you could run into the same thing. People often decide after 2-3 dates that a relationship just isn't going to happen. It's normal. Perhaps you're getting too attached too quickly? Love, LMo
__________________ thatsallicantypewithonehand |
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2003
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,224
21
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Dec 14, 2005 at 03:12 PM
#11
THEORY D: Either you and/or the women you're trying to date are simply too young.
THEORY E: She says she loves you but is confused... well, heck, why WOULDN'T she be confused? There isn't a whole lot of practical benefit to being involved with a married couple with children once you get past the thrill of new sex. __________________ thatsallicantypewithonehand |
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2005
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 350
19 |
Dec 17, 2005 at 02:26 AM
#12
{{{{{{Lady D}}}}}
Having been in similar circumstances a few times, I completely empathize with you. Someone will eventually show up in your life who's right for you & your husband. __________________ For every ailment under the sun, there be a remedy or there be none. If there be a remedy, try to find it. If there be none, then never mind it. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 3,600
19
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Dec 17, 2005 at 04:12 AM
#13
(((((((((((((((((Lady D)))))))))))))))))
I too am married and also had a 3rd party at one time. It is not an easy situation for anyone. Not you, not your hubby nor the 3rd person. As LMo said above, perhaps this person was attracted to you and not your hubby and knew that you and hubby were committed and didnt want to interfere with that. I know how hard this is. I am sorry that you are hurt. For me, I developed feelings for the 3rd person a little more then I should have. Therefore, I was the one to end it because in the end, my husband comes first, always. I wish you luck with this Lady. Please do PM me anytime. Huggles, Jen |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 3,600
19
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Dec 17, 2005 at 04:15 AM
#14
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
seeker1950 said: Well, good to know you are not crossing the line in a teacher/student scenario. But further, you are a parent, and married to a MAN! You want to incorporate a third female party into the arrangement. Why get married at all if you have such conflicts. It's no wonder this female student is confused and acting in destructive ways. You can't have it all ways and not hurt people, Lady. Seeker </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> This seems to me to be a bit harsh of a statement. I understand to someone on the outside looking in, it may seem this way. For others, who choose to have this tyoe of arrangment in their marriage, it is not so cut and dry. I am not starting an argument here, I just think that Lady D was looking for advice, not judgment. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,526
19 |
Dec 17, 2005 at 04:31 AM
#15
 
__________________  dottie |
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