[lonely and scared]

When it comes to my family I only know my dad's side of the family, but even then I have realised that they all keep secrets from each other and they can never talk to each other about what is going on. Instead they tell someone else in the family who is not even involved, this gets on my nerves. Not only that but I also don't feel important in my family, I feel like I get overlooked despite some of the achievements I have been able to accomplish. My twin brother seems to get all the attention from my mum and I just find it so upsetting that I have to play second fiddle to him, when I think we should be treated equally. He is her pride and joy and when it comes to me I am just here and that is it. She takes no interest in what I do or in how I am feeling and coping.
This all annoys me and I just wish I was able to choose my family

(Sorry for rant)

[Sunna]

Hello lonely_and_scared. It's not a rant. You do not ned to apologize. You are expressing how you feel and you have all the right to do so.

You can't change other people. If they are not in habit of talking to each other, there is nothing you can do. What you can do is take from it is the understanding of yourself, that that is not how YOU would prefer to deal with issues.

I am sorry you feel your brother is getting all the attention. I know how it feels to think that of yourself, but I doubt though that your mother really considers you unworthy of her love or attention, or unimportant child. I suspect that she simply does not realize that her quiet child is hurting and lonely, and not just satisfied to be by herself.

Unlike with your dad's family and their annoying secret keeping, this you can do something about. You can make yourself not keep your feelings secret from your mom.

I would advise you to just tell her. Don't accuse her, don't start a fight, just tell her how you feel. You can start with using the 2 words you took as your name here in the forums. You can tell her that you feel she takes no interest in how you are feeling and coping. You can tell her you feel that your accomplishments are not recognized. When bringing such things up you get better reception when you use the "I" statement, not the more accusatory "You" statement.

And figure a good time for it. Sometime when she may have time to sit down and listen, not rushing, not running around.

Also what about your brother. How is he treating you? Are you two close, talk about stuff? When I was young I had an awful relationship with my brother (not a twin). I hated him, really did, felt like I want to kill him, and I believed he despised me. But when we grew up we became really good friends. I can talk to him, he can talk to me. We can depend on each other. I am not telling you this to make you envious, just to tell you that you may have good stuff to look forward to with having a twin brother, in some years ahead.

[lonely and scared]

When it comes to my brother we used to have a really close relationship and we grew up the best of friends. But then he found girls and our friendship sort of lost its meaning.