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  #1  
Old Aug 15, 2011, 10:44 AM
Anonymous29408
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He won't chat with me.

He will chat in LENGTH with others.

But he blows me off when I am there and want to chat.

What can I do?

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  #2  
Old Aug 17, 2011, 01:22 AM
shezbut's Avatar
shezbut shezbut is offline
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Location: Rochester, MN
Posts: 12,565
How are you and he connected?

Old pals, lovers, married?? Do you have a relationship with him now? How does he act in the "real world" with you? Does he talk with you then, or is he quiet and reserved?

Just a few Q's that popped into my head immediately. It's tough for me to give advice on what to do without knowing what your relationship with this man is. If he's also removed in the real world, than I would say that you two have to work out issues together. If not, then maybe he just likes to BS with his buddies. And for whatever reason, he doesn't want to BS with you.

Maybe the chats with his buddies are based on sick photos people downloaded and sent. (I know a couple of guys who do this, and aren't real willing to show the pix to me.) I've certainly seen some sick pix ~ I don't find the subjects to be funny. It's beyond my level of humor.

Just an idea...
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  #3  
Old Aug 17, 2011, 06:04 AM
Anonymous29408
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shezbut View Post
How are you and he connected?

Old pals, lovers, married?? Do you have a relationship with him now? How does he act in the "real world" with you? Does he talk with you then, or is he quiet and reserved?

Just a few Q's that popped into my head immediately. It's tough for me to give advice on what to do without knowing what your relationship with this man is. If he's also removed in the real world, than I would say that you two have to work out issues together. If not, then maybe he just likes to BS with his buddies. And for whatever reason, he doesn't want to BS with you.

Maybe the chats with his buddies are based on sick photos people downloaded and sent. (I know a couple of guys who do this, and aren't real willing to show the pix to me.) I've certainly seen some sick pix ~ I don't find the subjects to be funny. It's beyond my level of humor.

Just an idea...
Your question is a good one. "How are we connected?" It's hard to explain. I have BPD and find it very difficult to connect with the rest of the world. Often I become distracted or bored when in conversation with others. There are a select few people in my life that I can converse with and feel that not only am I understood but I'm appreciated for who I am. When I'm with him - and he engages in conversation - it feels amazing; like the world is a less alien place to me.
  #4  
Old Aug 17, 2011, 06:21 AM
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Flooded Flooded is offline
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Member Since: May 2011
Location: on the border..
Posts: 1,757
He's not interested. Leave him alone.
  #5  
Old Aug 17, 2011, 06:49 AM
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Richardrahl Richardrahl is offline
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Location: Around the 6th circle of hell
Posts: 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flooded View Post
He's not interested. Leave him alone.
He's very interested
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You might want to think twice before you try to use a man’s conscience against him. It may turn out he doesn’t have one.
  #6  
Old Aug 17, 2011, 06:49 AM
Richardrahl's Avatar
Richardrahl Richardrahl is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: Around the 6th circle of hell
Posts: 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by shezbut View Post
How are you and he connected?

Old pals, lovers, married?? Do you have a relationship with him now? How does he act in the "real world" with you? Does he talk with you then, or is he quiet and reserved?

Just a few Q's that popped into my head immediately. It's tough for me to give advice on what to do without knowing what your relationship with this man is. If he's also removed in the real world, than I would say that you two have to work out issues together. If not, then maybe he just likes to BS with his buddies. And for whatever reason, he doesn't want to BS with you.

Maybe the chats with his buddies are based on sick photos people downloaded and sent. (I know a couple of guys who do this, and aren't real willing to show the pix to me.) I've certainly seen some sick pix ~ I don't find the subjects to be funny. It's beyond my level of humor.

Just an idea...

No sick pictures, just struggling with his own feelings too
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You might want to think twice before you try to use a man’s conscience against him. It may turn out he doesn’t have one.
  #7  
Old Aug 17, 2011, 06:58 AM
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Richardrahl Richardrahl is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: Around the 6th circle of hell
Posts: 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by stardusted View Post
He won't chat with me.

He will chat in LENGTH with others.

But he blows me off when I am there and want to chat.

What can I do?
Sweetness you know how I feel; I couldnt be any clearer about the whole thing, your the one fighting yourself not me. I never went anywhere and never will. As you well know its hard for me too
x

__________________
You might want to think twice before you try to use a man’s conscience against him. It may turn out he doesn’t have one.

Last edited by Richardrahl; Aug 17, 2011 at 08:47 AM.
  #8  
Old Aug 17, 2011, 08:46 AM
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madisgram madisgram is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2008
Location: Sunny East Coast Florida!
Posts: 6,873
ask him why he doesn't chat with you.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
  #9  
Old Aug 17, 2011, 10:14 AM
Anonymous29408
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Richardrahl View Post
Sweetness you know how I feel; I couldnt be any clearer about the whole thing, your the one fighting yourself not me. I never went anywhere and never will. As you well know its hard for me too
x

I know...
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