Loss of interest?

I have been dating my boyfriend now for four years. We have known each other since pre school. In the first year or so in the relationship he couldnt seem to get enough of sex with me. Use to have to stop after a while because it began to hurt.

Now it seems that he is no longer interested. I have caught porn on his computer a few times but he doesnt usually go on it. But lately any time I try to get his attention he just doesnt even bother looking. He likes to just sit on his computer and play his video games. And talk to his friends on there. He never has been very social outside of the computer either with our friends.

Ill try to flash him and he doesnt even bother to look up from the computer screen. Ill walk into the room naked same reaction. Maybe once every two months or so we will have sex. But usually when im in the mood if he does pay attention to anything it will start off with me giving him oral. During which he barley touches me at all and after word he goes right back to being on the computer.

When we do have sex it just seems to end quickly. Not like ten minuts quickly but it seems like he just wants to get it over with most of the time. There are very few occasions where he seems to enjoy it anymore. when I have asked him about this he sometimes doesnt comment and other times he will say thats stupid.

Is it me? Is something wrong with me? And how do i get him to tell me whats going on without him getting defsive or make this into a arguement...?

Hiya Angelwithoutwings. Welcome to PC.
It doesn't sound like it is you.

He appears to be addicted to his gaming. The game reality may be more real to him than the real reality. If that's the case, this is not your failure. I lost my bf when I got sucked into a virtual world of my first MMORPG, and it was not because he was failing me in some way. I liked being my game character, much more than living my real life. Real life became a necessary annoyance, something that dragged me from the world I wanted to live in. I didn't quite get insane enough to quit my work, but I wished they would fire me, so I could play all day long. I did play all day long each weekend. Eventually the game changed, and my life there became frustrating more than fulfilling, and that was my salvation. By then I have lost my bf.

Until he starts seeing his gaming as a problem, there may be nothing you can do.

You can ask him about his life, maybe he knows why he finds gaming so much more better than living, but maybe he just doesn't think about it, but lives for games, and that's that.

his entire family feels that way to. Well i didnt tell them about the whole sex thing but he is constantly on that stupid thing. God I wish it would break on him. He cant even get up when his parents want him to do something.

Ive been putting up with this for four years and I love him very much but I dont know how much more I can stand. I want to get married, have kids, move in with each other, etc. We use to talk about that kind of stuff and he seemed interested. But now when I ask him about moving in with one another he replies "I dont know, because then I wont be able to have my alone time" I dont know what he does in this "alone time" but it has something to do with that computer and he pretty much shuts himself off to every one. he doesnt enjoy having a job or at least he does for a while then pretty much does whatever he can to get himself fired....

I kind of knew what I was getting into when we started dating. Mostly because his mom warned me of this. Apparenlty it has been the downfall of every relationship he has had. But he seems in no way what so ever ready or even attempting to change anything. I have thought about leaving him a few times but when I think about it.. I really dont want to leave him. I want to have a future and all that with him so I keep telling myself to wait it out. But when does the waiting end?

and with the whole sex thing I have even tried to look like a character on one of his games. Ive gotten costumes made an he just goes "thats nice" and keep doing whatever he was doing at the time. I dont think its like he is addicted to the girls on the game because most of the games he plays dont have naked or even half naked women in it. some do granted. but only a very few. I want to not feel like im second best if even that to a computer.

Angel, sorry you are dealing with this. I agree with Sunna regarding your BF addiction issue with gaming. Yet, I will also add this:

There is an old expression: "Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free"? You have been dating for 4 years and after the first year the relationship changed. Your BF is comfy because you are there if/when he wants intimacy. But he seems to be getting more from his games than you.

Please think about getting some outside professional help so you can sort through what you currently have and what you really want in your life. You probably deserve a lot better than what this man has to offer.