[Omers]

I have one "friend" IRL that lives in my state. One. The end of Oct he is moving out of state, far away. OK, I'm dealing with that.
I am so tired of all our conversations for the past month being him, him, him, work, work, work, b*, b*. b*. I am tired of listening to how much he is going to miss acquaintances and people he hardly knows and hardly sees. I am so, so angry that he gets to spend the weekend with his daughter and grandson this weekend and he is b*ing about his grandson coming. Hey A*hole you are not going to be able to just hop in the car and see your grandson when you move.
The only thing he will say to me "about me" is how he wants "some". No matter what mutual interests I talk about he changes the subject to him, work or b*ing.
I told him it feels like he is already gone. after a long rant of b*ing he leaves it with how dissapointed he is in me!!!!!

Seriously, why do I try and bother with "friends" IRL.

Did you tell him to come again when he did not have so long to stay?

[unaluna]

I'm sorry, Omers. From what I see of you here, you are a warm, thoughtful, giving, caring person, who deserves the same in return.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Omers

I have one "friend" IRL that lives in my state. One. The end of Oct he is moving out of state, far away. OK, I'm dealing with that.
I am so tired of all our conversations for the past month being him, him, him, work, work, work, b*, b*. b*. I am tired of listening to how much he is going to miss acquaintances and people he hardly knows and hardly sees. I am so, so angry that he gets to spend the weekend with his daughter and grandson this weekend and he is b*ing about his grandson coming. Hey A*hole you are not going to be able to just hop in the car and see your grandson when you move.
The only thing he will say to me "about me" is how he wants "some". No matter what mutual interests I talk about he changes the subject to him, work or b*ing.
I told him it feels like he is already gone. after a long rant of b*ing he leaves it with how dissapointed he is in me!!!!!

Seriously, why do I try and bother with "friends" IRL.

just a thought - maybe he knows he has a real hard time with good byes so on purpose or not he's putting some distance between you and him so that the good bye wont be so hard for the two of you..

another thought..sometimes people get excited about moving. I know I do, and dont notice that they are monopolizing the conversation with me me me and moving moving moving.. maybe he thinks hes happy and excited so you would be too considering how close the two of you are..

another thought...maybe he knows he isnt going to be able to see his daughter and grandson very much after he moves so is trying to spend time with them now while he can...I did the same thing with my family when I moved where I am now. its like a days ride to most of my relatives and in some cases a plane ride too. I knew I couldnt see them as often after the move so I purposely set aside time before the move to spend as much as possible time with them before the move.

Im glad I did because within the first 6 months of my moving a relative was in a car accident (a drunk driver ran into them) and the relative and their whole family - 2 adults and 3 kids - were killed.

no one can predict when freak accidents, natural disasters and all will happen and take our loved ones from us. so loving and spending time with each other when we can leads to no regrets and guilt should something happen. in my opinion a loving family and visiting with them before life altering situations like moving miles away is how it should be. with both my partner and I though we are committed to each other we place family first. and all our friends understand that.

Sometimes it saddens friends and makes them feel not so good when their friends choose family over them I get that same feeling when my friends choose their family over me but I would rather they take time with their family because I dont want my friends to be feeling like I kept them away from their families if someone should die unexpectedly. even if I wouldnt be the cause of it sometines its just human nature to place blame on others when grieving.

suggestion - I know its hard right now but what I do in situations like this is grin and bear it tell the friend how happy I am that they got to spend time with their families and how happy I am for their good luck with moving and Ill be here when the moving is done..

Friendships dont depend upon whether someone is me me me occasionally and thats how friendships go.. sometimes friends need to share their accomplishments and downfalls and not need to worry during those times about things like oh gosh my so and so died but I cant talk about it because this friend gets upset when Im talking about e or oh gosh I have the greatest news but I dont feel I can tell so and so because they dont like me talking about me.

my suggestion if you can just let the guy have his moment. some day there will come something you will need to spend a lot of time talking with him about and he may return the favor by giving you your moment in time.

besides that you know that feeling you get after you have opened all the christmas presents and ate the christmas meal and relatives have left.. that let down glad its done but theres the let down too. moving can do that to people too. your friend is going to need you after the move, he's going to need you showing him by calls and letters and emails that you are still his friend, you still care about him even though he cant see you as often anymore..especially if this move is taking him in unchartered territory of knowing no one or very few there, no job and all that jazz..