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Just need to get this all out, so i'll try and cut a long story short, i need closure, i need to get to a point where i am comfortable with this relationship, how it has changed and so on.

My best friend Robert.
We were best friends in the last two years of high school, and yeah we got on and it was great.. but then we went to college and drifted apart and i wasnt really bothered, he then moved to Wales and i still wasnt that bothered, i'd speak to him on MSN or on the phone occasionally but that was it.
Then in Aug 2007, i had just started my new job at a bank and he was back living with his mum, near where i lived, and jobless, and bored. So while i was away on a course, he called me every night and i said when i was back from my course i'd come and stay over.
I went over to his on the Friday and we had drinks and it was great, we were talking to my best friend Kerri on webcam, who i had also drifted apart from while at college, but we'd left college now, she said she would come over the next day.
so she did and so from that day (september the 8th 2007 to be precise) me, Kerri and Robert, we were like that (crosses fingers).
But i had work and Kerri was still at college and things werent going too well for Robert, his mum moved in with her partner, who lived in a 1 bedroom bungalow and sold the house he was living in, so he moved in with a mutual friend of ours, Clare, Clare's house was a state and Robert is a CLEAN FREAK.
He was so depressed living there (Robert is the most positive person i know) he hated it. So i said as soon as he gets a job, me and him would move in together.
His sister got him a job working where she worked, so i put the deposit down on a flat for us, took out a loan to buy the furniture and in we moved. We loved it, at 18 we had parties, friends over it was AMAZING.
Then he started hating his job, really hating it and quit, for some reason (i cant remember what) he luckily had some money to pay his share of rent and bills for a while.
So i asked my manager at my job in a BANK whether there was any vacancies, i made him sound amazing, at the end of the day, without me he wouldnt have got through the application process, he didnt have the right GCSE grade, or any sales experience, they employed him on my say, they bought him in for an interview and didnt actually interview him, just told him when he would be starting.
So then he started and everything was great, but i noticed something, i was starting to get less of an INDEPENDENT WOMAN, which i prided myself on being, and started to NEED him.
But i didnt need to worry, because he needed me too and he was always there.
Anyway, October, 2009, we're still living and working together, then i get the worst depression i've ever had, he is kinda emotionally useless, but he did a good job nether the less, (i now know i have bipolar, i had no clue then). Then after the depression i went a bit crazy, but he is quite wild as well, so he didnt really realise it was a bad thing. We got lots of complaints from our neighbours and couldnt deal with the hassle, so we moved in with my mum in February 2010.
I was an anxious mess, on and off work, and doing badly at work, for the first time ever he was doing better than me, everyone loved him, he was succeeding where as i was just failing.
It felt like i needed him so much, and he loved me so much, he would be there as much as i needed him, but it was unhealthy for me, cause while he was there, i could never feel good about myself because he was so much better than me in every way.
My confidence was gone and his was sky high.
In July 2010, he moved into his own 1 bedroomed flat and i knew it was for the best, i had made the choice to stay living with my mum and that was a big step cause it scared me a lot not living with him.
Our friendship got better thought. I got better, started getting the help i needed and we still did such a lot together.
In August i left the bank, and from August until December, everything was good, i was getting less ill, and i didnt need to compare myself to him constantly because we werent doing everything together.
Then December the 23rd 2010, Robert met Adam.
This is when it gets a bit distorted between what i think happened and what actually happened.
Suddenly Robert didnt only have time for me, this i knew to be right and to be fair and normal, and no matter how lonely and upset i was, that was fine, we all grow up and we cant stay in each others pockets for ever.
Robert was infatuated for a bit, he would come on nights out with our friends, only when Adam hadnt invited him out, at the end of the night when Adam had gone home, he would text Robert and Robert would ditch us all to go back to him.
We all realised he couldnt help it, because he really liked Adam, fair enough, he was being a bastard, but who hasnt been a bastard to their friends when in a new relationship.
Anyway, in April 2011, Robert moved in with Adam, i got a new job, which i loved and everything was great, i saw Robert once or twice a week and that was fine.
How things are now though is a different story, me and all of my friends have realised Adam isnt a nice guy, he has to be involved in everything Robert does, they do nothing separately, sometimes Robert seems like he loves that, sometimes you can tell he hates it.
Roberts always been, spontaneous, wild, fun, outgoing, now he just does as he is told.
But right now, all i want is Robert, i need him, i just want him and Adam to split up because i just want his constant attention all the time.

But then on the other hand i'm so angry with him, i save him and then he ditched me.

I need to get to a point where i dont need him, i dont get upset if he doesnt text me for a couple of hours, and where i can live with the fact that we can never go out as friends any more, Adam is always there. Its not going to change.
So i tried going cold turkey, just leaving him for a bit, hanging around with new people, but he text me and text me begging me not to ignore me, telling me he needs me, so i cant just ditch my friend because i have issues.
When i went out with work friends on 2 occasions he text me both times, once actually turning up to where we were!

So i know he needs me, he needs to know i'm there for him and that i am his friend, but i need him physically with me, sometimes it feels like i am suffocating i need him so much.

How can this work?

Have you considered you might be being emotionally extorted to remain in a relationship detrimental to your best interests?

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I dont mean to sound dumb, but i dont know what extorted means.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Widgets,

I think Thebyzantine means you don't like it now that Adam is also in Robert's life and takes up Robert's life/attention. You have had him to yourself for so long and then "boom" Adam came along.

I find it hard sometimes when my Sister goes away with her Boyfriend as she is my Twin and we live together. I feel hurt and annoyed and angry and guilty I feel the way I do

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i feel like he is my twin, he even said the other day, that we were two halves of the same whole.