[obdue]

we have been going out for 5 years now, I have known for a while that he suffered from depression in the past but I thought he was a lot better, however 6 days ago he attemped suicide, the following day he sat down with me to talk where he revealed he met up wit a muteral friend three times in the space of 1 yr, the last time was 6 months ago which was also only one month after we moved in together, im trying to support him through this depression but im so upset with him, but I cant even tell him how much as im afraid he will try comit suicide again, I cant talk to family or friends about this so this is why im blurting everything out here. Am I an idiot to think it will not happen again, can this relationship work?

[SakuraLi]

Not all cheating is chronic. Not all cheating is done for the same reason such as being malicious. He could cheat more or never again, we don't know. But can you ask him why he did it and will he tell you his motives behind it? Does he want more sex, does he have a sex addiction, is he unhappy in the relationship. If he admitted it he could either be wanting to get rid of his guilt or truly wanting to open a dialog with you about what's going on with him. Which one do you think it is? You don't have go answer these here of course just figure out for yourself what the case maybe be and go from there. But generally if he cheats there is the risk he is bringing home diseases that could damage your health so get tested for all the STDs, HIV and hepatitis C even if he said he used a condom you must get checked anyway for your peace of mind and health. Make sure you protect yourself with a guys who cheats. See if he will go to treatment for depression ask to be included if he seeks treatment talk to his doctor ask for general advice on supporting his road to recovery. If your bf is open to all that I say there is hope! If he shuts you out something is up and it could be a very hard road. Best of luck. I'm in an 8 year relationship with an SZ guy and it's hard, really hard sometimes I feel hopeless but sometimes I feel things are getting better. There are times of progress and times where we take 100 steps back from progress. I would encourage you to get some self help books and find support groups. Good luck, stay encouraged.

[Soul Quake]

Not only do you want to stick by him, you want to "support" him. Why?

[Silent_tsol]

Yes, I believe the relationship can work. It's a long bumpy road and I can only imagine it being more difficult with ongoing depression on his part. I don't think it will be very successful if you put him as the priority (as in withholding your feelings out of fear of pushing him over the edge). There's a lot of emotional times ahead and I think if you decide to try to work things out you need to make counselling a condition for doing so. I think it could be beneficial for both of you. For him, he can work through his depression, find out how it's related to his decision to cheat on you and how that can be prevented in the future. For you, you can vent your feelings in a safe place.

I will second the point that you should both get tested for stds, and yes even if he says he used a condom. 1) It's probably pretty hard to trust his word at this point. Having medical proof will give you some peace of mind. 2) There is a chance that he could lie about the use of the condom in hopes of not hurting you more -re. peace of mind. 3) Condoms aren't 100% and don't fully protect against everything.

Condoms also provide some protection against genital ulcer STIs—such as genital herpes, syphilis, and chancroid—which are transmitted through contact with mucosal surfaces or infected skin.[2,4] Because these STIs may be transmitted across surfaces not covered or protected by the condom, condoms provide a lesser degree of protection against them

. Condoms are also less effective at protecting against HPV and are often "forgotten" during activities other then intercourse. I absolutely don't want to scare you but you need to protect yourself and that needs to be priority 1. I promise your doctor has heard it before and should be very sympathetic. Also, while you are there, if you have been having trouble keeping yourself otherwise healthy (eating, sleeping) you may wish to speak to your doctor about that as well.

[IceCreamKid]

What about this relationship do you want to preserve? And by "supporting him" do you mean you are paying the bills? I think you should find another boyfriend before he gives you an STD.