[LoveHopeStrength14]

Recently I made the scariest and toughest decision and that was to go through brain surgery. Everything was a success and I'm healing just fine with no complications. Since the surgery I've had alot of time alone because of recovering. I've been thinking to myself and I want my life to be different from now on. I look back on my life and I don't want to make the same mistakes anymore especially in my future relationships.

So what is the best way to ensure I've learned from my bad mistakes? Should I sit down and write down all my mistakes and then in response I should point out what I did wrong and what I could have done differently? Its not like I'm dwelling on my mistakes I just want to make sure I've learned from them and actively understand that I dont want to make those same mistakes again.

I find myself always making excuses for the men I date and I know that is something I no longer will do. I read a great quote:

" When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

This quote can be taken either way but looking back I should have taken it seriously when the men I dated slowly started to show their true sides. Often I made excuses saying "oh they are having a bad day, they had a rough childhood, its not their fault.. etc..."
Everyone has a choice on how they want to present themselves and everyone have a choice how they want to live their own life. So if a guy doesn't want to work hard enough to get out of a rough situation then thats his problem and not my responsibility to be understanding to him. I need to look out for my own happiness and livelihood first.

[GiGi1963]

Originally Posted by LoveHopeStrength14

Recently I made the scariest and toughest decision and that was to go through brain surgery. Everything was a success and I'm healing just fine with no complications. Since the surgery I've had alot of time alone because of recovering. I've been thinking to myself and I want my life to be different from now on. I look back on my life and I don't want to make the same mistakes anymore especially in my future relationships.

So what is the best way to ensure I've learned from my bad mistakes? Should I sit down and write down all my mistakes and then in response I should point out what I did wrong and what I could have done differently? Its not like I'm dwelling on my mistakes I just want to make sure I've learned from them and actively understand that I dont want to make those same mistakes again.

I find myself always making excuses for the men I date and I know that is something I no longer will do. I read a great quote:

" When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

This quote can be taken either way but looking back I should have taken it seriously when the men I dated slowly started to show their true sides. Often I made excuses saying "oh they are having a bad day, they had a rough childhood, its not their fault.. etc..."
Everyone has a choice on how they want to present themselves and everyone have a choice how they want to live their own life. So if a guy doesn't want to work hard enough to get out of a rough situation then thats his problem and not my responsibility to be understanding to him. I need to look out for my own happiness and livelihood first.

It seams you already have learned a lot. But then you have to live life and you can't protect yourself from all mistakes and pains.

Welcome to the Community, ed LoveHopeStrength14. Each of us is unique. Each relationship, therefore, will be somewhat different. My suggestion is to trust your instincts.

[StrawberryFieldsss]

Originally Posted by LoveHopeStrength14

So if a guy doesn't want to work hard enough to get out of a rough situation then thats his problem and not my responsibility to be understanding to him. I need to look out for my own happiness and livelihood first.

I love this. Its so true. You should be the most caring, nurturing and forgiving to yourself first, not just because you will take care of yourself better than anyone else can, but so you can also be in a good place to help others to a certain extent too.

I know very compassionate and sensitive people tend to not want to see others in pain, but very often in wanting to alleviate other peoples' pain they create more for themselves.