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Member
Member Since Jan 2011
Posts: 299
13 125 hugs
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#1
I was once told that we chose our friends that are like our parents. Example females will pick a friend that is a lot like their mother or female guardian and the same with men that they will pick male friends like their fathers or male guardian. I say this cause my only friend shows a lot of traits like my mother, she is toxic a lot towards me and puts a lot of blame on me, she can do no wrong and wants the attention only on her. She is not a alcoholic like my mother she just will never admit to doing wrong. She always blames me, she is toxic.
Anyway, do you all believe that we chose friends that are like our parents or guardians cause that is all we know? |
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: US
Posts: 1,019
13 65 hugs
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#2
Great question!
Perhaps we are often drawn to people similar to our parents because that is our "comfort zone". We already know how to interact with those type of people. But, to be truly healthy and happy, we need to learn how to build friendships with the people who represent the type of person we want to be. That can be quite uncomfortable at first, but so much better in the long run. ![]() __________________ Never look down on anybody, unless you are helping them up. |
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Member
Member Since Feb 2011
Posts: 50
13 |
#3
Someone once said that the great struggle of life was being torn between the need to escape the relationship patterns from your childhood that you keep repeating and the need to maintain what feels familiar to you. How profound.
I experience the recreation of old relationship patterns all the time, and knowing this has given me the awareness to recognize when it's happening and get out. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to go about healthier relationships so experience a lot of anxiety when getting close to others who would probably be good for me. So, I am probably going to be alone for a while. |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 97
13 |
#4
Quote:
Is it possible we do this for friends too... absolutely!!! __________________ Jewels "Love is just a word until someone gives it meaning" ![]() |
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