[Rose3]

I won't go into all the details - just the highlights. I met a woman a few months ago, she seemed kind of intrusive with her personal questions, that really had nothing to do with my interacting with her (I sell products). Sometimes I would evade answering her personal question, but
she would kind of firmly repeat her question. I found myself feeling kind of
intimidated by this woman, who seemed inappropriately pushy. She also
seemed kind of guarded in the beginning. She tells me all about her health problems, and I don't like this being dumped onto me, but don't know how to stop her from dumping. So, I saw her yesterday - more
dumping, so I courteously listen for a few minutes, wishing to get out of
her apartment and I make a few comments to acknowledge that I heard what she had said, while remaining pleasant. So, today she phones me and states that I am violating her boundaries, and getting my roles mixed
up, and she continues to say that I insinuated that she was being critical of someone (I don't know where she dreamed that up). She goes on like this. I concluded that she is probably getting paranoid, and twisting things because she doesn't understand herself really about how she brings this stuff on by her own questioning and flow of monologueing about things that concern her. What I am asking - what are some courteous
things that I can say to her, to exit from future interactions with her, without getting her feeling defensive or insulted (because that'll just make things worse, and then she'll start accusing me or more and more)? Thing is that I don't need this kind of pathology in my life right now (or ever), and it just starts reminding me of my paranoid mother (who created a bizarre ongoing story of accusations about me - none true of course). When they get like that, they cannot be reasoned with. And I don't need that kind of stress in my life. Any ideas?

[Leed]

Just tell her that it has NOTHING to do with her, but you find that entering a relationship right now is just too stressful for you -- and you don't have the time to give it the proper amount of attention that is needed --- so you're going to have to say goodbye, and then wish her a good life. LOL The sooner you get away from this woman, the better off you will be.

If she continues to call, just ignore her calls. You don't "owe" her anything. She sounds like a very 'sick' woman, who desperately needs a therapist!!

And don't feel guilty -- you HAVE to do this for your own sanity! She'll find someone else to abuse. God bless & please take care! Hugs, Lee

[missbelle]

Leed is so right. It also sounds like my neighbor who lives next to me. I hope this person does not live close to you!!! No reason for you to have any more contact with this person. I am going to read Leed's answer over again for my own self as I also experience this with the next door neighbor!!!

I'd not see her again.

[Rose3]

Thanks everyone.
Things is that I know that it's best for me to get away from this person asap.
For some peculiar reason - I am feeling guilty, and trying to figure that out. Maybe
I feel guilty because her health is not great, so it's like leaving behind a person
in distress. Yet - here is where I start thinking in circles - I can't do anything about
her health, I can't do anything about her thinking (nor is it my responsibility to even
try).
So, what I do know - is that she is contributing to a situation where I do not feel
comfortable. And that did not just start, it was like that pretty much from the
beginning. So, find a way to exit, and wish her a happy life.
Thanks again for understanding.

You can give her some phone numbers to places where she could get some social interaction.And you could bring her a plant and a pie.Tell her you are moving or somehow otherwise unable to visit.It isn't your fault that she is lonely,it is her responsibility to make the difference if she decides to,by getting more social and friendly.I know the plant/pie thing sounds really odd,but,it's a thought lol.Hugs to you hon,I hope it gets better.You have a very kind heart.~W~

[Rose3]

thanks for you kind ideas.
Plant and pie are nice.