[shutterbug11]

A girl that i'm friends with has recently gone through what can only be described as a horriric, self destructive experience. Despite the fact that she is brilliant, talented and witty (ranked way up in our class), she's also driven by insecurities, jealousy and mental instability. I had no idea until recently that she was on medication for depression. She also told me once that she had bipolar 2 disorder, but I'm not sure if that is true or not. At school she showed no signs of it. Only occasionally did I notice something off about her. Like slit marks on her wrists and other tell tell signs. I never thought it would be this serious...

A while back she went off her meds and started doing drugs (specifically shrooms). Out of self punishment, she got high DURING class and was arrested. Later that night she tried to commit suicide and was sent to a psychiatric facility where she was assaulted by a homicidal patient. She has since been sent to an alternative school for the next month or so. EVERYONE in school has been buzzing about it nonstop. It's seems to justify peoples initial hatred of her (since she's very opinionated and can be obnoxious), but I cant bring myself to hate her, despite having every reason to.

We had a very honest talk today when I accused her of being apathetic of her situation and she unleashed all this pent up emotion. I understand what she is going through, at least as much as I can, and all I feel is sympathy and sadness... Not anger or hatred. Although she's lost my respect, I feel that when the world has turned against her, she needs some one who will still be her friend. Or else, I fear the alienation may cause a relapse on her part. Perhaps next time she will do more damage

Now, I can only hope she is getting the help she needs. I'm not worried about her being a bad influence on me. As for social reputation, I don't care what other people think. As long as I'm doing the morally right thing. What I am worried about is associating myself with some one like her... Some one so unstable and unpredictable.

What do u guys think? I'm really conflicted right now

[Travelinglady]

Hi, shutterbug11! Welcome! I think I'll always remember what a wise woman (a counselor) said to me one time when she and I were talking about a girl I was trying to be friends with. Mind you, this friend had no where near the number of problems the young lady you're talking about has. At any rate, I said to the counselor, "But (Sandra) needs help, and I want to help her."

The counselor responded, "Yes, (Sandra) needs help, but you aren't necessarily the one who needs to help her!"

From what you said, it sounds like your friend is indeed a "very troubled" person. You might be able to send her a card or let her know in some way that you haven't forgotten her, but it sounds like you have the potential of receiving harm from trying to be too close to her right now. She needs to continue to receive professional help.

I actually suggest that you ask someone you personally know and feel comfortable with this same question--perhaps an adult who also knows this person, you, and her situation. A person who knows you better would have a better idea, I think, of whether you can or should be someone who helps her.

I was just telling some of my friends here the very same type of thing. I want to help EVERYBODY, but sometimes I personally get too upset and caught up in people's problems, and it's not healthy for me. So, I have to just back away and let someone else help.

You sound like a very caring person. Let's hope that your friend will be able to get better soon, and perhaps you can have a healthier friendship with her.

That's just my opinion, of course. Somebody else here might have some other ideas for you.

[StrawberryFieldsss]

shutterbug, as long as you know that you can set appropriate boundaries, its a good thing to want to be there for her. If you can tell her very forthrightly that something is unacceptable to you (like, the 'unleashing' thing would be a "No" in my book) then be there as much as you can for her. As long as you know your limits and honor them, I think you will be fine.