[Justme_55]

I figured I'd put this post here since the circumstances are relationship based. My soon to be ex husband was controlling alot of the marriage, I had a ton of friends when we met, a mix of people, alot of male friends who yes were JUST always good friends. As time went on he'd find a reason these friends of mine were unsubtible for me to hang out with or socialize with. (okay "dad") I have a very good lesbian friend & since he didn't (his views have since changed and he speaks with her more then I now) agree with homosexuality he didn't Like her. So after much dividing and conquering on his behalf I cut contact with the majority of these friends to appease him. He has a married couple as friends who he has known for forever & are very good friends; or were.

Here is the point, his best friends wife & I became very close. They would come over for holidays, every weekend etc. She views my husband as her little brother. Through many of my marriages hard times I would vent to her. Last year I was working two jobs an 8 to 4 then bar hours 5 pm til closing time as well as in school. If my marriage wasn't already on tipping points I utilized work to get away from him; working my tail off only added to the issues. This last march I finished a school program and was elated that I had accomplished it. Since I had been insanely busy with work, school, my child, my crap marriage and trying to be a house keeper when I was home I hadn't seen much or spoken much to my said "best friend." when I got home after my last day of school this couple was at my house outside with my husband playing with my son, after I put my stuff down I came back out to chat & catch up and yes boast a bit about my graduation pins. With pin in hand I showed her, where she shrugged it off her husband rolled his eyes and with not saying much at all to me left shortly after. I asked my husband what their issue was with me in which he stated " I've spoken to them about our issues and asked if she'd be willing to talk to you, she said you wouldn't like what she has to say to you." kind of annoyed & surprised I'd figure I'd wait a few days & ask her in a non confrontational way what her issue was with me. So three days later I called her, no answer I left her a vm stating that as a good friend I was surprised to hear she had a problem with me & I'd like to speak with her, a week later no response, so I texted her "as a friend I'm upset you haven't come to me, then my phone rings.

It started with her screaming at me after I said hello & I quote "stop calling me, texting me, when my little brother comes to me and asks what the problem is & it's his WIFE NEVER him...with that I hung up. My husband had put these people before his child and I had repeatedly given him the ultimatum of move in with them since every free moment you have is given to them. I guess id feel differently if there wasn't drug activity going on around my son when I wasn't there. (pot) Then I get text after text of her ripping me a new one " you have changed, he does everything for you & you don't appreciate it or see it, you don't work for you're marriage, go take some more classy photos of yourself & post them all over the internet to make you're son & husband proud (ive done quite a bit of modeling) you can't support you're home, and now I will lose my best friend and that fantastic kid of his because of you!!" I told her she was forbidden from seeing my child and unwelcome in my home, I did retaliate and defend myself accusing her of being jealous, in which she replied you have nothing I will ever be jealous about!

Mind you my husband wanted me to have an abortion, he was on unemployment at the time of me working two jobs, had a drug issue as well as tried to kill me. Somehow in all of my marriage issues this woman who mind you I considered a "good friend" thought I was the enemy, that my husband
was a SAINT because he chose to get himself into therapy after I kicked him out for putting an ax through the garage wall in anger & shattering his wedding ring with a hammer.

Then the catalyst; two weeks later her husband (my husbands best friend lol) calls my husband and says "if she doesn't sit down, say she's sorry and talk
to us I will end my friendship with you." HA!! True colors showing? So a few
days later my husband goes over there for a visit where he speaks with her she says "I'm really upset because you're son is the closest to a child that he (her husband) and I will ever have." EXCUSE ME??!?? This is NOT the hand that rocks the cradle! He has one mother & that's all he will ever need!

The double edged sword, she sends my husband home with a happy anniversary card...???
I was diagnosed with cancer & was REALLY sick, she gives my husband a card to give To me, a get well card...?

Am I really that easy of a target?
How do I move past my anamocity for her hurtful words/actions?
Since I'm separated now & he's sleeping on the couch should I pack his stuff & drop it off at their doorstep?
What's the deal with the cards?
How could someone be that jealous about not having a child?
Did she have the hots for my husband?
How could she call herself a friend when I put boundaries down for my marriage that she didn't agree with?
Why were they a second party in my marriage to begin with?
Help!!

[Perna]

I don't understand; you can't be separated and/or get a divorce if he's still living there with you, whether he sleeps on the couch or not; you have to live separate and apart for at least a year. If you are going to get divorced, one of you has to go elsewhere.

I don't see any interesting reason to stay friends with this woman; she hasn't given you anything you wanted/needed for even longer than your husband, it sounds like?

What is necessary in order to obtain a divorce in Ohio?

In Ohio, in order to grant a divorce, the trial court must find:

• that the plaintiff (the person filing the divorce complaint) has been a resident of the State of Ohio for at least 6 months immediately prior to the filing of the complaint and a resident of the county in which the divorce has been filed for at least 90 days or that the plaintiff for at least 6 months immediately prior to the filing of the complaint and that the defendant spouse has been a resident of the county in which the divorce has been filed for at least 90 days; and
• that "grounds" (legal reasons) for divorce exist for the granting of the divorce

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/ohio/ohfaq02

Could not find anything about living separate for a year. There was no such requirement in my state either when I was practicing.

[Justme_55]

We have a son together & no we are not legally separated but separated in the other aspects I have consulted with my therapist who guided me to someone in regards to divorce. This is my house and I refuse to disrupt my child. My ex needs to be the one to leave.
Thank you for you're response in regards to her, this was more of a venting forum. I'm pretty angry.