I need help

Ok so here's the story....

Me and my fiance have been together for 8 years on and off. Not once can I say I have been faithful to her, with it either being kissed someone, slept with someone, or just texting and that sorta stuff. Well it finally came back around to me like karma does and we've broke up. This time I had texted 2 of her friends. One for a kiss the other to actually do the deed. Nothing happened but it was bad enough. I love her to death I really do but I think I have a real problem with being faithful because I have wondering eyes. And its not like Im addicted to sex because i dont have to have it all the time. I just don't know what to do, I'm lost and I can't say sorry anymore because it doesn't work. As it shouldn't I deserve what cards have been dealt. I just really dont know what to do to fix myself. I would love to change and be back with her in the future but I don't know what steps to take. We also have a 6 year old son together which makes it much harder. Any suggestions or what I should do to get help?

Thanks for reading

I would suggest seeing a therapist to get to the bottom of why you are doing what you are doing. I should point out that being addicted to something isnt defined by doing it every day. Maybe you are an addict, maybe you just need to learn to keep it in your pants. A therapist will help you work this out. My other suggestion is to probably steer clear of being committed to someone until you can actually stay committed to them. Unless of course they are fine with what you are doing.

This is a very toxic relationship, especially for her (no offence). I am in her soes at the moment. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 10+ years, we have a 7 yr old son, have never lived together nor been engaged.. etc... He has cheated on me NUMEROUS times and I have always taken him back. But only because I blame myself for his straying. I'm not the easiest person to deal with and now I understand it DOES have something to do with being Bipolar AND Borderline. But as my Therapist has told me, if he truly loved/loves me, he woudn't have strayed but would hav broken it off with me first. I agree..Yet here I am, still his woman, just waiting to see what woman he cheats with next. It's not fair to me I know, but I stay for our son.

You need to let her go so she can find true love, a man who can appreciate her for who she is and make her happy.. I wish my man would find another woman to treat this way and let me go...

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for you.

First, man up and do whatever she asks/needs of you when it comes to your son. Do not mess up, "forget", refuse to do things just because she's (rightfully) upset with you. And don't just do it because you want to get back with her one day, do it because he's your son.

Second, other than than what is required in regards to your son, stay away from her. Don't text her, don't call her, don't push her, don't ask her out on a "date". Just leave it alone. You caused this woman an awful lot of pain and anguish. The fact that you are thinking more about how to eventually get back together with her, rather than being remorseful over how badly you must have hurt her, tells me you just don't get it.

Third, if you have had any unprotected sex in the last 8 years, then get yourself tested for everything. A penile swab is a great way to teach yourself a painful lesson that screwing around is a bad thing.

Fourth, get some help. Find a therapist, a psychologist, whatever it takes. There is something causing you to act this way, and you are going to need professional help to figure out what it is, and correct that behavior. Do not expect an overnight fix, or to be "better" after 2 or 3 visists. It could take months of behavioral therapy to change the way you "think". You're going to really need to be commited to becoming a better person. If you don't have the fortitude to do this, then you're doomed to failure.

I agree with the others. You def need to get some professional help. So that you can get better. Good luck!!