[PityPartyof1]

I have been talking to someone younger than me. This is a first for me since I am attracted to older men. I'm not attracted to older men because of their age, per se, but because most older men are more experienced, more mature and normally have their stuff together. I am late 20's, this guy is early 20's.

There are so many things that he does that annoy the ever living crap out of me, but the most important one is that I have a problem with people who cannot show up on time. And to be quite honest, I don't care if you're a man or a woman, younger or older. If you say that you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, you show up on time. Not 15 minutes early, then have to wait and complain about waiting. And not 30-45 minutes late, with sorries.

If you can't show up on time, at least have the common courtesy to call the person you are meeting and explain to them you are running late. Is there a problem with this mindset? Because I don't think there is. I am on time, almost always. If I'm not, I call. Bottom line.

I am mulling over this issue and ready to kick him to the curb.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I've dated both younger and older. It seems that I can relate to those that are older than me for the most part, however there are other men that will surpise you and show wisdom way beyond their years. I've also learned that the later in life I go, the less the gap in "maturity" between myself and others of my own age. His age alone could be what is aggrivating you, it's not uncommon at all for someone older to be annoyed with the younger one in the relationship especially in these cases when society already tells you that the man should be older.

Can I ask you something without pushing it? Could you give reasons why you should be with him? You've given reasons on why not but what about why you are with him now? There has to be good qualities if you're with him. I would weigh out the good vs the bad and see if really the age thing is getting to you because society says it should or if it's because he really is that much less mature. If it is a maturity case, I don't think the chances are as high on it working because as many of us know, with immaturity also often is accompanied by lack of courteousy and understanding and we all need that.

[PityPartyof1]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Can I ask you something without pushing it? Could you give reasons why you should be with him? You've given reasons on why not but what about why you are with him now? There has to be good qualities if you're with him. I would weigh out the good vs the bad and see if really the age thing is getting to you because society says it should or if it's because he really is that much less mature. If it is a maturity case, I don't think the chances are as high on it working because as many of us know, with immaturity also often is accompanied by lack of courteousy and understanding and we all need that.

The last part of what you said is exactly the problem, "lack of courtesy and understanding"...which he displayed this evening. Long story short, when he dropped me off at my house this evening, I told him we need to part ways because this isn't working for me.

He is very, very hurt by my response. I can tell he is sensitive and questions why I feel the way I do. My feelings aren't so much due to what society deems the norm rather than what I've experienced and how I feel. It bothers me that my response hurts him, I know he seems heartbroken but he is oblivious to his behaviors and I won't stand for staying with someone, in any degree of relationship in order to change that person or restrict their individuality. We are supposed to express our individualism, not be confined by it.