[SolutionIsProcess]

I was madly in love with this woman I used to work with 6 years ago. From the moment I saw her, I knew we were meant to be together. I cannot explain it any other way. She had a long-term boyfriend of 2 years, but after a few months of schmoozing, I landed her! We were very young at the time - she was 17, I was 21.

We were on and off for a number of years. In addition to being confused regarding what I wanted with her, I was a young lad who wanted to sew his wild oats. That seemed like top priority to me at the time. I felt the need to 'prove my worth' as a masculine male, so I was very on/off with her for a number of years and racked up a number of one-night-stands. Eventually, it got to the point where she said she was done, though we loved each other very deeply, and we parted ways. This was two years ago.

Today, I am 28 years old. I haven't spoken with her in 2 years but have thought about her often, especially the last 6-12 months. I stopped sleeping around by choice one year ago. I have dated a couple of women, and interacted with dozens of others who I was potentially interested in, but none of them measure up in terms of long-term potential. She did, and still does, in my heart.

What I love about her is her willingness to see things through, her loyalty and devotion, her kindness and hopeless romanticism. She once told me, many years ago, "no one will ever love you as much as I do", and she was right. I just don't see myself being loved by anyone the way she loved me.
My question is: Should I contact her and go for it? After all these years and rollercoaster rides together? She is the only woman I have been with that I would actually marry (and I have been with many women), but I was too young and stupid. I'm glad I didn't commit to her because I needed this experience to wake up and realize some things about myself and what I want, but now, I can't help but feel that no woman can measure up to her in my eyes.

What should I do? Should I contact her or just let her go? It's been a couple of years, and last time we spoke, I know she was hurting and said that this was it. IME, when women say this, they mean business. But I have to say, I am absolutely in love with her and want to work on rebuilding something with her, even if slowly. I'm willing to even go to counseling with her if she wants. What do you folks think? Should I go for it and contact her, or just let it be and move on, and own my mistakes?

[roads]

I'd go for it if I were you. I see three possible outcomes:
1. You are pleasantly surprised. The two of you discover a new relationship that works.
2. You are pleasantly surprised. The two of you discover a new relationship but it fizzles after a while.
3. You discover you haven't finished learning your lesson from your breakup two yrs ago.

You'll end up older even if you do nothing. You'll end up older and wiser doing any of these three. You could end up happy too.
Hey, way beats any Vegas odds!

[Leed]

I don't see any harm in contacting her and TRYING again. If you're open & honest about how things are now, and how you've matured, perhaps she'll feel safe. But I'd take it slow -- I'm sure she's gun-shy.

Best of luck & God bless. I hope it works out. Hugs, Lee

[Perna]

I would certainly contact her but keep in mind she has her own idea of how things went between you and what sort of person she would like to be with, etc. In other words, you won't be picking up where you left off, start as if it were a wholly new relationship -- after two years, it is, you have both changed and you only have your own idea of what she is like to go from, which might have nothing to do with who she actually is. Remember that and don't let it get in the way; stay in the here-and-now or you could hurt yourself.