[krisakira]

so... a year and a half ago I moved to a different state and since then i have made no friends here, i just have my boyfriend who i moved here to live with. Then there's his mom who i help take care of, but i wouldn't consider her a friend. I tried volunteering at the humane society but what you do there is go and walk dogs and socialize the cats and stuff, and unless you have a friend to go with you, its a very lonesome job. There's no time frame you can sign up to go with a group, you just go there yourself. Then there was the time I went to an Overeaters Anonymous group but i did not feel like i could really connect or relate to the other people there, I was the youngest one by at least 20 years. I don't have work or school to make friends. i went to a gym for a while but never made friends there. I just really miss my old friends i talk to them online but its not the same! I feel so alone .. i need that social life, not like partying and stuff, but just like a friend or 2 to hang out with sometimes... believe it or not i actually tried craigslist to find friends but all they wanted was sex... ugh, i need people. going back to college next year hopefully that will help. can't wait. even if i don't make any close friends at least i'll be around people... only way I'm around others these days is if i go to walmart. guess I'm done rambling. ty for reading this

[Dapsych]

Going back to college will increase your percentage dramatically of finding some friends, Personally, I find solitude a gift. I solely adore the state of being alone, but to have some company once in a while is great.

Some prefer company and others don't, since I tend to talk to myself and my mind is of its own, I guess I got company everywhere I go.

Activities such as helping out in charities or doing some out-door Christian learning activities can help too.

[Aslan]

read books, improve your persona, may discover the secret to making new friends

[Severijn]

There are quite some ways you can build up a social life again. I had the same problem some time ago; here are some ways to make friends. I know you've tried a couple of them but I'll just add them to the list anyway.

1. Do a part-time study at some adult school. Do a 3 or 4 month eduction course (not a full education... looks good on your resume).

2. Join a social sports club, or gym/fitness. Another idea is to go walking/backpacking and meet people with the same backpacking interests.

3. Do a workshop about: cooking, painting, playing a instrument, etc.

4. Go out to bars/clubs. Difficult one if you're alone, but if you feel comfortable by yourself this is an option.

5. Meet people anywhere, in shops, on the street, library, anywhere really. This one is more difficult by yourself, but perhaps a special turn of events will bring you together with some folks.

6. Go to casinos to play some cards. Perhaps there you'll meet some people.

7. Do social volunteering work, where you work together with other volunteer.

8. Go to a church weekly every Sunday, and hope there are people of your same age there.

9. Lastly, you could contact some old friends and spend time together, and also meet their friends and friends of friends, etc. But sure to get their phone numbers if you've spend some time together.

This is how I met some friends of mine.

If you need to refresh your social skills, an idea is to read some social skills/conversation/communication books. Search for them at amazon.com or barnes-n-nobles or some other online bookstore (local bookstores usually have a limited amount of social skills books). One book I can recommend and that's very practical is called: "first impressions - what you don't know about how others see you".

I feel I've left out some other options of meeting people but this is what I could think of. Good luck with building a social circle again.

[Perna]

Volunteer somewhere that needs workers in groups (like the library, they have book sales and need help sorting the books).

Does your boyfriend work? Get him to introduce you to his workmates or go to a work party with him to meet some of the people there?

If you have a hobby of any sort, get to know people at a store that features supplies for the hobby or take lessons (I took quilting lessons at a sewing store, for example, and became friendly with the other women in the shop and who came to work/take lessons in the shop).

[Dave255]

Originally Posted by Perna

Volunteer somewhere that needs workers in groups (like the library, they have book sales and need help sorting the books).

Does your boyfriend work? Get him to introduce you to his workmates or go to a work party with him to meet some of the people there?

If you have a hobby of any sort, get to know people at a store that features supplies for the hobby or take lessons (I took quilting lessons at a sewing store, for example, and became friendly with the other women in the shop and who came to work/take lessons in the shop).

Hobby is a great suggestion. If courses, groups are available you'll meet people that share your interest, gives you something to talk about that your both interested in. If you share an interest its a decent chance that the person will have a similar personality and have other stuff in common.

[Sameer6]

I have no friends either ..

[roads]

Originally Posted by krisakira

I tried volunteering at the humane society but what you do there is go and walk dogs and socialize the cats and stuff, and unless you have a friend to go with you, its a very lonesome job. There's no time frame you can sign up to go with a group, you just go there yourself.

Every group's different, & I'm so sorry yours isn't like the SPCA group I'm in. You've been so friendly & supportive to me online, & of course we have the love of critters in common. This post of yours surprised me ... I hope things evolve for you & you end up with the quantity/quality of friends you left behind.

Roadrunner

[krisakira]

Thanks guys for all the suggestions, i am gonna see if there's a local poetry or creative writing class or group somewhere, I write poetry and think it'd be really cool if i could find something like that. wish me luck

Um, hi. Are you me? Did I write this post while I was asleep and didn't know it? Haha. No really though, I totally know what you mean! I moved to my city like, 15 years ago and had a big group of friends but they all got married and had kids. I don't have a boyfriend, don't go to church (and don't want to), work third shift, and go to school part-time. While I like my coworkers, most of them either don't want to hang with me or are busy with their families. I do socialize with classmates but not to the point where we'd hang out seeing as I'm generally about 5 or more years older than most of them. And the ones my age, again, are busy with their own families. I will say that I had some moderate luck with some meetup groups in my city (meetup.com) though, really, some of the groups tend to be a little bit clique-y (there tends to be a core group which has been there forever and it's difficult to be a newcomer). I'm also not at all interested in the bar scene, and some of these groups are really into that. Also, my schedule makes it difficult for cultivating friendships sometimes.

Yeah. I may be throwing out lots of excuses but...I get it. Wouldn't it be nice if all of the lonely people in the world (and there are a TON of us) could get together for coffee every so often, or to go for a walk, or to, I don't know, make cookies??

[Lyzzyy]

I have been living where I live most of my life but thanks to my relationship of five years that just ended I find myself all alone and without any friends, so I totally understand how you feel. I mean I know people but I don't consider any of them my friends as none of them really enjoy doing what I like to do, other than my ex

It seems like once you get to a certain age it is so much harder to connect with people. If something works out for you let me know so that I can follow your footsteps. Good luck!