breakup?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 1/2 years. He is a year older than me and we met in his senior year of highschool my junior, and have been dating ever since. The first year was amazing and then he went to college and we stayed together and everything was still great. When I went to school the following year things got rough. We started fighting at least once a week and he questioned everything i told him. He did not trust me at all and with no reason. I have never done anything to hurt him other than the occasional inappropriate comment during fights. I ended up going home (3 hrs away) every weekend so we could see eachother and he came here about 3 times the whole year. Needless to say the year was really hard but i thought it was normal in a distance relationship. The trust issues he had were the hardest part. He was constantly asking me what i was doing who i was with and when i would tell him i had just gotten out of class he didn't believe me. One night he was with me at school and i got a text from one of my brothers friends and when he asked who it was i lied. Huge mistake of course but i knew it would cause an argument and for some reason thought that not telling him was a better option. However i apologized for it later that night and about a week later he broke up with me. I found out that easter after we had been broken up for about 2 months, that he had kissed two other girls during our relationship. My definition of cheating was questioned and I did not know how to respond but i forgave him and told him i loved him. he had hit an all time low and was drinking way too much and asking for me back. I said no for a while and he caused a huge scene at my house multiple times. Eventually he cleaned him self up enough and started showing me how much he cared for me and loved me and we got back together. Things were a lot better for a while but they are getting worse now. After 3 years with him he is telling me he won't ever marry me unless i become a christian. Which i am not currently. I told im i am more than willing to attend church with him and read about it and see if it is the right fit for me but that is not good enough for him. I just don't know if it is worth it to wait around with him when we are fighting at least once a week and both of us are a little untrusting now. He has changed a lot. Recently began smoking and has made new friends that I am yet to meet. I cannot figure out whether I should try to stick out this with him and hopefully he will decide that he loves me enough to marry me eventually regardless of whether i am a christian or not. Or if we should peacefully part ways now and hope for a clean and mature break up. I love him more than anything and I believe i always will love him but I don't know whether or not he is the person i am supposed to be with.

If I may offer a 20/20 hindsight view...

High school "loves" rarely survive as we move on in life. I still have sweet and wonderful memories of my high school love. But being in separate schools and meeting new people opened up our worlds so greatly that we called it quits.

My first spouse (who I met in college) was not of the same religion. I converted, but it was extremely difficult to figure out how to raise our children in that religion while remaining involved and enjoying celebrations with my family. We divorced after 18 years and the children are very mixed in what they believe in.

My first spouse also used. Stopped the pot and switched to alcohol.

Honestly, I think the most important things for you to consider are the facts that there has been a lack of trust for quite awhile and a lot of arguing. That does not bode well for a healthy and happy relationship.

I am remarried to someone who came from the same religious upbringing. We trust each other completely. And, in the 13 years we've been together now, I can count our arguments (actually just petty disagreements) on one hand.

IMHO, you will be happier in life if you break it off. There is a huge and wonderful world out there and so many people to meet.

I wish you the best.

Dear lakeview. I would not take care in whether you were 12 or 62, you
have describe a relationship that has all the ear marks of a lving nightmare that one can
not wake up from, without a 'painful' divorce.

He has no idea who he is, and want to make you someone you are not.
write a letter to him for why you need to end it, make yourself a copy and
read it when you are old and gray and count your blessings you did not make this
horrible mistake.

_S_