[heyhey.im.j]

Well to start things off, I've been with this guy for a little over a year now but living together as friends for about 8 months. I've been divorced and seperated from my daughters father for almost 2 years now. So needless to say, I have slight issues with just jumping into a relationship status even tho we are in a way but not officially if that makes sense. I was real quick to stand firm on how I felt at the beginning about having a title, but now I'd like to let him know how I really feel about him, but terrified he won't feel the same way. But we refer to each other as the other half or bf/gf with friends it just doesn't feel official. His actions tell me he would be fine with being official since we act like an old married couple lol. I don't know how to tell him that I'm not as "head strong" against the idea of marriage or a "title" as I was in the beginning without insuating that I want to get married, that's not what I want right now, but being more exclusive in a relationship than we are (we do live together and are exclusive already) but it's never been said between us that we are together and may go a step further in the future. I want him to know that I'm open to the idea of a possible more long term future with him. He is a bit younger than I am but far more mature for his age. Im 29 he is 23 but that doesn't affect how I fell about him at all, I'm just used to being with older guys. It's really hard for me to have a serious talk about this topic but I don't want to make the same mistake as I did in the past, by that I mean how against any idea of furthering a relationship status as I have done before. I don't want him to think there's no chance of a future like I've done before. A good friend of mine said that's where I made a mistake in my last relationship by saying "if a guy doesn't think he'll ever be anything more than just a friend or boyfriend, it makes it hard for him to want to want to stick around and wait". Even though me and the last guy i was in a relationship with was the father of my daughter, we lasted about 5 years and mutually split up. My daughter lives with her grandparents in another state so I don't see her very often, tho I'd like to change that and the guy I'm with knows the situation from both sides (mine and her fathers) they were aquaintences but not necessarily close friends. He has accepted the fact that I have a child, and has made his feelings about us being a "family" some day clear and he is accepting of the idea. So, what more could I ask for?! On a different note, we are affectionate but don't say the "I love you" bit, I think I scared him off from that one too cause I freaked out when he said "i love you for that", ( I was doing his laundry and checked the pockets first, needless to say his wallet was in his pocket. This was when I first moved in with him about 8 months ago but he has shown much more potential than ever before so my thoughts about a future have been more settling. I just don't know how to approach this topic with him (unless I'm drunk lol) but I don't want to do it that way. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading

[Open Eyes]

I think he is probably waiting for you to let him know. I think it is nice of him to be patient and give you some time. So you ARE going to have to be the one who brings the subject up and let him know that your grateful for his patience and after the time you have been together you are more open to discussing the future you might have with each other. Make sure you let him know how much you appreciate him giving you time to think about the two of you and how well you both are getting along.

Maybe don't use the word love and commitment yet, maybe just see if he is thinking about the long haul as well. This way your opening the door a bit with him and giving him the same space he has given you. Just my thoughts.

Open Eyes

[heyhey.im.j]

Great idea! Thank you for taking the time to read and share kind words!

[Harley47]

I agree with Open Eyes. Just set him down, tell him how you feel. No need to necessarily SWAT kick the proverbial door here, just set a foot in it and see how it goes. I would think that if he's affectionate with you like you say and that he's comfortable being referred to with you as a bf/gf couple, he's just waiting for you to ask.

He sounds like a great guy from what you say. I wish you both the very best.

[heyhey.im.j]

Thank you Harley for another positive outlook