I value the people who hurt me too much and i under value the people who love me

I hate myself for what I do, the way I give so much importance to people who treat me badly, the way I keep pursuing them whereas I get bored or disinterested in the people who love me and care about me. Please help me figure out why.

"I never liked anyone and I'm scared of people"
-Bret Easton Ellis "Imperial Bedrooms"

sounds simple to me--you're looking for approval and perhaps you like a bit of a challenge? there's no challenge with the people who already love you. it's easy to take them for granted.

I guess the questions you should ask yourself is why isn't knowing someone loves you enough? why seek out those that don't?

self-esteem issues, perhaps?

That's what I used to tell myself, that I liked a little bit of a challenge, that I was constantly in need of stimulation, that I bored easily. That's not it though. I've met people who like "challenges" and who are bored easily and in constant need of stimulation and they have a very different personality from me. They are very confident and secure and bold. I on the other hand am extremely insecure and fearful so I would hazard a guess that it comes from self-esteem issues. My initial hypothesis was that people like me have such low self-esteem that we subconsciously think that anyone who likes us must be ridiculous and that anyone who doesn't like us must be right and therefore valued. Do other people go through this?

I'm not sure we are going to be able to give you a definitive why, as much as we would like to be able to do that for you.

When someone tells you they love you or compliment you, what do you feel? What is your reaction? Same thing if someone hurts you...how do you feel then? Why?