[eskielover]

I have always had problems with things getting misplaced but I could be able to calm down & logically look for what was missing & I would usually be able to find it by thinking back to what I was doing. I would get frustrated like I am sure you all have done & wonder where your brain has gone to. If I couldn't find something, I would just blame it on the Bermuda triangle finding me. What ever I was looking for would always turn up in the most unexpected places but they would be found. I was pretty good at logically handling these situations until I had the ID theft trauma experience last year when my Mother was dying of cancer.

Those trauma experiences were that my Mothers wedding ring ended up missing until the home care RN started looking for it & there it was.....plink....it fell down behind the sofa where my Mother had been laying on right where the RN was standing. Then a few days later, I was working with the check book & got distracted (my husband was there with me too).....I came back to where I had been working on the check book & it was missing.....we started looking all over the house because I had found a couple of checks filled in by someone other than my Mother or myself. We started looking all over the house & the home care RN started looking for the check book & plunk....there is fell behind the bed in the bedroom where I had been sleeping & right where she was standing looking for it (no way was I so stupid to not realize what she was doing but it took time to try to make a change to the situation). Then the morning I was getting the changing plans set up, I had been sitting in my Mothers room with her & had been taking notes of a paper tablet about all the things that had been happening & about someone who had called as a social worker. I had a knock on the door & left the papers on the floor & answered the door only to find out that it was the police expecting me to know why they were there. Everything was so confusing & the police kept me out in the front room asking me all kinds of questions later finding out that I was being accused of abusing my Mother. The other policeman was in my Mothers room talking to her. Somehow by the time I got back into my Mothers room, I was looking for the tablet & found the pages I had written on torn off the tablet & the tablet was thrown behind a chair. The toping off of this experience was that my Mother complained in her disoriented mind that the RN had given her a hand full of pills & wanted her to put them all into her mouth & take a drink of water & she told me that one of the pills had fallen out of her hand (later finding the pill which was morphine).....sorry....same boring explaination.....but.......

I had several situations at the ranch that weren't serious just triggering. It started one day when I had given my filly her pellets in her bucket with her name in permanent ink on it. I had been warming up my other horse in the dressage arena & my trainer was doing things while I was warming up. Izzy was done with her pellets & had knocked the bucket off the railing it was on. Both my trainer & I knew where the bucket had been. After I was done riding, I went to pick up my bucket & it was no where to be found anywhere at the ranch. Because I now get so frustrated when I can't find something I just can't give up & my mind goes into the "just look for it....it has to be here" mode. Well, I spent 45 minutes looking all over the ranch & Monica couldn't figure it out & just blamed it on their lepricons. I did remember that her husband had come home from work during the time I was riding & for some reason, I decided to look in a tack room that no one hardly uses. There was the bucket way behind several other buckets, thrown on the floor. They do have a new lab dog that loves to run off with things but he is young & it was a 12 qt bucket. I knew it had to have been her husband that had put my bucket there.....there could be no other way it could have gotten into that location.

Next experience. I had bought a sturdy spoon to use for mixing up all the suppliments I have to give to my horses...pregnant & old & need to keep on weight. I had sturred up my mares evening suppliments & took it up to the field where I always feed her. I laid it on the bench where things get laid until we take them back with the bucket to the feed room. Well, my husband knew where he had left it on the bench & when we went back to get all our things when my mare was finished, it wasn't there. My husband & I spent about 1/2 hour looking for the spoon. We checked the lawn thinking that their dog might have thought it looked like fun to play with, but nothing. Then my trainers husband stuck his nose out his screened in patio while smoking.....asking what we were looking for. I told him I had a spoon that was missing. His comment was...."Did you look in the trash can? I found a spoon laying on the front lawn." I said I wonder whose dog would have done that? Looked in the trash can & there it was.

I decided that I couldn't live with his stupid triggering things he was doing & the next morning I decided to move my horses. I checked if it was ok to move my pregnant mare with my vet & it was ok. I got a call back in a couple of minutes after I called my vet & his assistant had a place that boards & is great with foals. Perfect...within 4 days I have my horses moved safely & even my yearling found it easy to do....& there is a dressage arena about 1 1/2 blocks away. How perfect but it is scarry how triggers from a trauma can have that kind of effect on me. I may or may not be keeping the same trainer......will decide within a few weeks on that.

This should probably be under PTSD triggers....but I was so surprised what it has done to me.....I never do things without alot of thought but couldn't take that any more.

Another strange thing that can't be for sure blamed on him was that a little girls leather bare back pad was missing & when her Mother posted about it, it showed up the next week.

I feel strange not being able to handle little things like this. I never thought I would be this sensitive. It must have been the right move because I am happy about the move.....just exhausted trying to take care of myself with the partial program on top of this.

Debbie

Debbie

i think your trainer's husband is a nut and you should stay as far from him as possible. it's not his equipment and he has absolutely no reason at all to be moving anything that he KNOWS isn't his.

big congratulations for moving and stay away from him. if you keep same trainer, explain, gently, that he isn't welcome at new facility. love, pat

either that or maybe you have elves! ha ha!

Just kidding, sorry you were having such a hard time. It sure sounds like things are getting better!

*sigh* I wish i could still be close enough and had enough money to go to the stables to ride.

[eskielover]

Rainbowzz,

the elves is actually very funny because several times when I was riding in the dressage arena my horse would spook at one end of the arena.....we swore it was the ghosts that lived there. Since the jerk arrived, even my trainer has found things missing & has blamed it on the gnomes....she just hasn't realized it is her jerk that is doing it.
Debbie