Past relationships similarities - should I be disturbed?

DespondentDaisy · Mar 01, 2012 at 03:32 PM

Ok, so I was just thinking about this startling possibly disturbing realization.

A while back I posted about this (with a different handle, I've since changed- it was back in 2009 or so) about how I had a short love affair with this guy I met who then moved to Korea shortly after we met to teach English. I was thinking about how he made a bad joke (?) about how I'm the kind of person that he could just chill and hang out with as opposed to a person he'd kill. I don't know how he said it exactly, obviously in a way that wasn't as disturbing at the time I was able to laugh it off and change the subject to avoid awkwardness. But then just now I was thinking about a boyfriend I had in college for about 4 months, he was a friend and then we remained friends afterward. Anyway, I was just remembering one time when I was riding with him and his best friend around town one night and they asked if I'd like to see where they buried the bodies. I laughed it off, thinking they were just trying to spook me- I remember my bf of the time saying softly under his breath "She doesn't believe us." Now, remembering these two instances together, I wonder about the kind of men I \'m attracting. Considering before this I was in an emotionally and verbally abusing relationship and in the beginning when things were mostly good my bf of the time was talking about how much he changed and about how he used to be a bad man I asked if he had ever killed anyone and he just didn't answer the question but at the time I thought he was just trying to make himself sound dangerous or cool or something and didn't think he had. Now I wonder. Well, anyway, this is just sort of random because it doesn't really apply to me currently but I just had to put it out there and get some feedback to trouble my worried mind. Thanks for reading.

JLarissaDragon · Mar 01, 2012 at 04:59 PM

Obviously I was not there and do not know the context or the ins and outs of your relationship. But from my perspective, iIf he was joking he has a pretty sick sense of humor. If someone asked me something like that I would play it cool I suppose but I would be pretty wary

Purple Heart · Mar 02, 2012 at 02:00 AM

HI and welcome

I guess from my point of view you don't joke about such things. You don't say you killed someone or especially saying would you like to see where we buried the bodies. Alarm bells!! Run run run and call the police. You could have been their next victim! Do you see a therapist? If we dont' confront our own maladjustment, then we attract people of the same maladjustment. I'm not saying your a killer but for example you may have self esteem issues where you feel you can't be around good people for example. I don't know but you can explore stuff with a therapist. Food for thought.

athena2011 · Mar 02, 2012 at 11:16 PM

My last two relationships were strikingly similar in the way you are talking about and yes, it is disturbing thinking about it. Both own loaded guns, both have threatened to bury people (they said it jokingly to me), both have trouble with the cops, both have trouble with authority figures and both have anger issues (too much or completely repressed until it explodes) and pretty much invite trouble.

When I think about it now, I prefer to date somebody who doesn't own a loaded weapon! I sure hope it is not a pattern for me.

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JLarissaDragon Grand Member Member Since Oct 2011 Location: Oregon Posts: 898 12 1,087 hugs given	Mar 01, 2012 at 04:59 PM #2 Obviously I was not there and do not know the context or the ins and outs of your relationship. But from my perspective, iIf he was joking he has a pretty sick sense of humor. If someone asked me something like that I would play it cool I suppose but I would be pretty wary
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