[SoupDragon]

My ex has really hurt me this morning - we have kids so unfortunately do have to have contact with each other - I usually grin and bear it, but I was so upset this morning. I have written a letter saying how hurt I am and saying how mean I think he is - I usually never share how I feel - but I am wondering whether it is the right thing to send it, or whether I should continue to grin and bear it.

Any advice / others experiences would be great to hear right now - Soup

[Nelliecat]

(((((Soup)))))

I think it's definately a good thing to have written it whether you send it or not. I've never actually sent anything to anyone along the same vein but that's not to say I wish I hadn't. How do you feel now you've written it?

[Leed]

Hi ~ I think a lot depends on the issue. If it was something that was said in anger, and he probably didn't really mean it and it is likely never to be said again, then I wouldn't mail it. But if it's something that is very likely to be brought up again and again, then YES, mail it for sure!

I'm sure you feel better by writing the letter. It's good to do this whenever we're hurt by anyone -- just to get our feelings out. But we shouldn't necessarily mail it. Just throw it out and let it go.

I wish you the best. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[SoupDragon]

Well I didn't send it and waited for a few hours to calm down and then thought what the heck, he has hurt me too many times and it is time to relay a few truths - so it has been sent - he can dish it out maybe it is time for him to experience it.

I partly feel a bit like oh no what have I done but also part of me is satisfied and glad that I was brave enough to send it.

Blah!!

[roads]

Sending gentle hugs if you want some ...
** gentle hugs sitting near **

Roadie

[Sadness2011]

Hi,
I just wanted to tell you that I think writing a letter to the person who has hurt you can be a great way to express yourself, especially if you're like me and have difficulty saying it directly. Just be prepared for the possibility that the person you are writing to/about may not be able or willing to hear what you are trying to express to them. I say this because I don't want anyone to have to go through the devastating sadness, hurt and confusion that I have been experiencing this past week. Basically it's a great, healthy way to vent. Just be careful in making sure you maintain "reasonable" expectations is all. I hope you feel better:-)

[lido78]

Now that you've already sent the letter, I hate to bring this up. But I do so only as something to think about for next time. I assume that there are no custody issues with your ex.....I think writing letters are fine, but I'd only put something on paper if I wouldn't mind it being brought up later...people use all kinds of manipulations when dealing with custody/court issues, and anything sent in writing could be used...just something to think about for next time.