[itsybitsyteenytiny]

Im in my 30's and my mother is a meddler. She drives me nuts. I took the sanity score and it actually said my mother's score along with my own, that's how enmeshed she is with me. (j/k)
she and I work at the same location, and she comes over to my desk about 5 times a day. No exxageration. she calls me on the phone and if i don't answer she comes over to my house. Once she had my apartment manager unlock my door because she thought i was consumed by gas fumes, simply because I did not answer her knocking on my door.
She has called the police before when I didn't answer the phone and I lived about an hour drive from her.
She is not supposed to drive at night, because she has an eye disease, but if I do not answer her call at night, she drives over and talks through my bedroom window.
I have plans to move out of state in a year and she got wind of it and is trying to move with me. My little brother moved accross the earth literally, to another country and he loves the distance. I don't know what the heck to do or say to get some space from her. I can't take it anymore!!

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by itsybitsyteenytiny

Im in my 30's and my mother is a meddler. She drives me nuts. I took the sanity score and it actually said my mother's score along with my own, that's how enmeshed she is with me. (j/k)
she and I work at the same location, and she comes over to my desk about 5 times a day. No exxageration. she calls me on the phone and if i don't answer she comes over to my house. Once she had my apartment manager unlock my door because she thought i was consumed by gas fumes, simply because I did not answer her knocking on my door.
She has called the police before when I didn't answer the phone and I lived about an hour drive from her.
She is not supposed to drive at night, because she has an eye disease, but if I do not answer her call at night, she drives over and talks through my bedroom window.
I have plans to move out of state in a year and she got wind of it and is trying to move with me. My little brother moved accross the earth literally, to another country and he loves the distance. I don't know what the heck to do or say to get some space from her. I can't take it anymore!!

You can try setting boundaries but expect she will push against them at every opportunity. Are their other relatives her age you can discuss this with? If not, you will have to do everything yourself. Set the boundaries you think are reasonable and fair and stick with them.

[unaluna]

I feel for ya. I felt like I could not move far enough away, that if I moved to the exact opposite side of the earth from her, then as soon as I took one step, I would be closer to her again and it would ruined. absolutely crazy. my mother admits she gambles because otherwise she would be bugging us - she asked us which would we rather have, but her choice was gambling, it always was, she wasn't fooling anybody. maybe help your mom find friends? get her into therapy? you have only one life, don't let her limitations, limit you.

[Perna]

I would get your boss or hers involved and have a 3-way with the "other" adult and you setting limits for her at work; does not sound like she gets much done. Too, I'd maybe try to get transferred to a different location with the assurance that she won't be allowed to follow?

If she is not allowed to drive at night and it is stated on her license I would set the boundary that if she endangers herself again by driving at night, you will be calling the police. It does not sound like any boundaries have been set so she can learn cause/effect.

I would change my home phone number and make it unlisted and not give it to her, explain to her that you love her but that she is literally driving you crazy and needs to get her own life that you will not tolerate her spending time in yours without your consent.

[Bad_Pooh]

Originally Posted by itsybitsyteenytiny

Im in my 30's and my mother is a meddler. She drives me nuts. I took the sanity score and it actually said my mother's score along with my own, that's how enmeshed she is with me. (j/k)
she and I work at the same location, and she comes over to my desk about 5 times a day. No exxageration. she calls me on the phone and if i don't answer she comes over to my house. Once she had my apartment manager unlock my door because she thought i was consumed by gas fumes, simply because I did not answer her knocking on my door.
She has called the police before when I didn't answer the phone and I lived about an hour drive from her.
She is not supposed to drive at night, because she has an eye disease, but if I do not answer her call at night, she drives over and talks through my bedroom window.
I have plans to move out of state in a year and she got wind of it and is trying to move with me. My little brother moved accross the earth literally, to another country and he loves the distance. I don't know what the heck to do or say to get some space from her. I can't take it anymore!!

You are enabling her. Abandoning her after that fact is not cool. If you love her, you should be honest with her. She will respond in a manner fit for her, but change will occur, whether slow or gradual. It may not be pretty. My mother has a different personality with each of us kids. The ones she can push get all the drama.