[allsignsarethere]

It was 2010 I moved out with my son (then 18). My boyfriend of 11 years while I was at work, kicked out my son. So, I got an apartment and moved out. "There is no choosing" I said. I told my son he has 1 year to get his crap together to take on the world. 9 months past, he moved out and in with a family member. It was awful. I moved back in with my boyfriend after the lease was up. My son went off to basics and just got home. My boyfriend of now 13 years, says no he cannot live here. No, you cannot help support him financially. I do not want you to leave but I do not want your son here. So, here I am again, having to choose. I am so depressed. I keep holding the tears in and now my son not even home 1 full day yesterday, tells me he does not want to be here. He is staying with family. I know in my heart that I should leave until my boyfriend can get over himself. I know my son needs all my support before he is sent out on his next mission. I feel like a bad mother for not having a home for my son to have come home to and feel comfortable. I am really upset that my boyfriend continues to try and control my relationship with my son. I mean this man has been in my life for 13 years and my son is my son. My one and only and I do not want to choose. My boyfriend says, no he cannot spend the night, he must call before he comes over, no he cannot do his laundry here. It all seems so petty. Please, give me something to help reassure I am not going to crash and burn. I am trying to keep it together, but I am unsure how much longer I can before I really have a mental break down. Things flash before my eyes and now I question myself and my past of what I have done so wrong that this man I love cannot accept my son. Cannot put his differences aside for me. WHY? All he has is excuses. I feel I am walking the tight line with no support below and am going to fall.

[Perna]

Why can you not go visit your son wherever he is staying? Do you work and have your own money; I am confused at how you can afford to move out but cannot control what you do with your own money? It sounds like you should probably find some professional counseling to help you become your own woman, not controlled by either your boyfriend or what you feel you should be like for your grown son.

[Leed]

Why does this man have so much control over you? This is your SON! He should be able to visit, for Pete's sakes! He should be able to count on his mother!

This guy sounds like a dictator, not a "significant other." How did he take your power away?? Why is he walking all over you? There is NO way that I'd let him tell Me that my child could not come to my home -- or stay overnight -- or do his laundry, etc. No way!!!

This man isn't your 'partner.' He's your ruler. You need counseling, definitely. Your self esteem seems to be in the pits. You need to find a way to get it back, and counseling is the way to do it. Please seek help -- I do understand, believe me. God bless and please take care! Hugs, Lee