[dad787]

Hello, and thank you for reading. My friend has a 19 year old boy that just graduated high school via adult education school, and she's having trouble with him. His daily routine is waking at 11am to 2pm, and sitting for the remainder of the day playing online video games which she pays for. He refuses to try to get a job on his own, he gets allowance, a cell phone, and is allowed to drive her only car, which he commonly takes late in the evening after she has gone to bed, and does not tell her where he goes. He will then stay up almost the entire night, talking on his cell phone and going in and out of the home leaving doors unlocked. He leaves his dishes in the sink, and although assigned, does not do his chores. He appears to be approximately 70-90 lbs overweight and although he recently joined a gym, he rarely goes, and cannot afford the contract as he just lost his savings bonds and spent everything in his bank account on a toy gun he purchased online and a new digital watch. For finishing his school, she bought him a $3200 Z-28 Camero, which he promptly hit a curb with and now cannot drive. It was reported he had a 12 year old passenger at the time as well, and marijuana may have been present. He was not insured. Last evening he cussed out his mother after she insisted he go to bed at 10pm with the rest of the children in the house, pointing out the flaws of the other children until 10:30pm. Of course this was followed by noting he was up at 2am, outside talking on the phone to "a friend who had just been in an accident". Also he shares a room with the 12 year old and is continually waking the child at all hours of the night. As well, he has become physical with the 12 year old, shoving him into a desk repeatedly when the 12 year old confronted him on his apparent lack of progress after he lifted the 12 year old from a ladder he was standing on. I would like to help her, but I would like some support from a psych community as to which specific steps to take, as she has become defensive. The goal of course, is to get the child to age appropriate norms. Thank you so much!