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New Member
Member Since Apr 2012
Posts: 2
12 |
Apr 29, 2012 at 10:07 AM
#1
I have a problem with expressing myself, what I think and what I feel, clearly to my partner. Even when I think before replying on how to phrase what I want to say so that any misunderstanding is avoided and so that I sound respectful and caring, I often manage to confuse or insult my partner, or come across as disrespectful, or as if I didn't care about the relationship or other issue at hand. This is what I'm told and, upon reflection, I often have to agree with it -- the problem is that I'm not aware of this *at the time I'm phrasing my answer*. The problem is often aggravated by me not understading what my partner means, even when talking about some trivial things.
My question is, can you recommend any books which could help me? I'm not interested in books which focus on business communication, or on general "how to fix your relationship" books -- I know what I need to say, just often manage to make a complete mess when phrasing and saying it. Any advice will be most welcome, the problem is a major pain. |
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
(SuperPoster!)
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Apr 29, 2012 at 10:40 AM
#2
Hi, misterX, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).
What we say has to come from our head and heart working together. I would make sure you know what you are feeling and that you check with your partner to make sure you understand what your partner means, before you try to reply. As I think you have noticed ("I often manage to confuse or insult my partner, or come across as disrespectful, or as if I didn't care about the relationship or other issue at hand") it is not the words that are necessarily tripping you up but how you express them? I would train myself to start with something like, "I am glad you brought this subject up; I am very interested in exploring it with you." so your intent is there from the get-go? Here's a link I liked: http://www.drnadig.com/feelings.htm __________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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