[Mike_J]

So after 28 years of marriage, my wife has decided that she wants a divorce. After spending the last 5 years trying to get her into marriage counseling after one session last month I guess she finally decided she didn't want to work on our relationship.

But strangely she is STRONGLY opposed to the idea of me changing my direct deposit from work into an account of my own. Guess she still wants my paycheck just not me.

[faerie_moon_x]

It is behavior like that which gives women a bad name. You should change your direct deposit and then only give her what is needed to pay the bills at this time. Don't give her extra money for fun things.

When I divorced my first husband I did not request alimony or anything like that, because I was the one requesting the divorce, and even though I had no employment at that time. It is wrong to expect someone to continue to take care of you when you do not want your relationship any more.

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.

Originally Posted by Mike_J

So after 28 years of marriage, my wife has decided that she wants a divorce. After spending the last 5 years trying to get her into marriage counseling after one session last month I guess she finally decided she didn't want to work on our relationship.

But strangely she is STRONGLY opposed to the idea of me changing my direct deposit from work into an account of my own. Guess she still wants my paycheck just not me.

I hope you will find some comfort in knowing you have done everything you can to try to salvage a relationship before it crossed any line. Asking someone for FIVE years to go to T, to no avail...I'm exhausted thinking about it!

Clearly there were issues and you were doing your best. That's all you can do. And you should be proud of that.

I hope you will speak with an attorney. Not to be mean but to protect yourself.

(if she hasn't been willing to work with you for five years, wants out of the relationship but still wants your hard-earned salary, you need some one to keep an eye out for you)

[Bella01]

Sorry about your marriage. I would change my direct deposit to a different account and just give her money to cover the bills.

Is she a stay at home person?

[shezbut]

I'm sorry Mike J.

I'd recommend opening your own account and have your monies deposited into that account. You can pay whatever bills, and continue giving her an allowance for groceries and gas. But, I certainly think that you need to protect yourself financially. I'd be afraid of her going on a few shopping binges & sticking it to you.

Oh boy, doesn't sound pretty Mike! Hopefully, I'm just being paranoid here. Maybe your wife is just now beginning to realize how her wanted divorce makes finances a lot more complicated....((hugs)) to you.

[aurill50]

I'm sorry. My parents are seperated, but its like their divorced. Unfortunately my mom is the same way. Lives off of my dad's bank account to support her and her "lover". So like everyone else is suggesting get a different account and only borrow her what she needs.

[Mike_J]

Well for the moment I'm going to get a physical check, but I will us it to start a new account.

Thanks for everyone's support

[John25]

I am so sorry to hear that, Mike.
28 years is a long time. I think getting a physical is a good plan; it is good to think about yourself and the well-being of your daughter right now. Your ex is responsible for the decisions that she makes, not you.

[Mike_J]

Originally Posted by Bella01

Is she a stay at home person?

She is mostly a stay at home mom but has been working part time for the summer.