[llafitte93]

The way I got with my boyfriend was...maddening. He helped me get away from my controlling ex-girlfriend and, soon after, we got together. Whenever she found out, she attempted suicide and was sent to the hospital. My friends told me then that what she did wasn't my fault and that she probably only did it to make me feel bad. Even with this in mind, I still felt like it was my fault for dumping her just to make myself happy. The school counselor (who was good friends with her) at my college even told me that this was my fault...and half of my floor thought that I was only dating my boyfriend just to hurt her. That wasn't true...she was following me everywhere, she forced me into a relationship (we kissed once or twice and then she posted on Facebook that we were dating. She never even asked...and I couldn't tell her otherwise because she would've just attempted suicide earlier), and she was trying to run my life for me.

This happened months ago, it's summer break, and I'm still with my boyfriend...but I feel incredibly sad. I not only hurt her, but I hurt others as well with my decision to date my boyfriend. My best friend was depressed, and my ex-boyfriend was also depressed. Three people who had feelings for me are STILL going through bad emotions because of me. I hurt them just for my own happiness. I feel terrible...I feel remorseful for hurting them. I never meant to hurt them...I just wanted to find happiness with somebody else. My mother keeps telling me that I'm not responsible for the actions of others and that I shouldn't keep carrying all of this guilt of my shoulders, but I can't help it...I can't be happy with my boyfriend because I still feel guilty for all of the pain I've caused others...I want to be happy with him, I want to make things work with him...but I just know that karma is going to bite me in the backside soon. Either he will cheat on me, or he'll dump me because I'm not good enough...something will probably happen.

He knew that I was depressed over this a while back and he even told me that I had nothing to be afraid of, but I still can't help but feel awful. After I hurt those people, I feel like don't deserve somebody like him...I don't know what to do about this...any suggestions?

[Leed]

All those people are nuts. You cannot control what other people do or think. You did NOT make that girl attempt suicide. That was HER decision. You did NOT have to stay with her. No one has to stay with anyone if they're not happy.

I'm glad she was not successful in her suicide attempt! That would have been awful. But you have nothing to feel guilty about. And if all your friends think it was YOUR fault, they're idiots. YOU don't have the POWER to make someone else commit suicide. No one does. It's too bad those 'friends' can't realize that. People make their OWN decisions. No one else can make them FOR them.

So don't worry about what everyone else thinks. If you continue to worry about that, it will drive you crazy!! All you need to know is what you KNOW to be true! Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee