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  #1  
Old Jun 09, 2012, 02:47 AM
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Justbyou Justbyou is offline
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Back 10 years ago I had a severe anger problem. I had no idea how to control it. When my partners and I would argue I was very physical violent with them. To this day I’m surprised I didn’t hurt them worse than I did. I’ve been out of a relationship for sometime now and have learned how to deal with my anger in a healthy manner. I look back and feel so guilty for the pain I put my ex’s through. I took responsibility for my actions and apologized to a couple of my ex’s in person. It felt good they were willing to forgive me. There is one though that I asked her to meet up with me. I felt an apology was better face to face rather than through email. She at first said yes, but then never responded when I asked about a good time. I’m really proud of myself for facing my fears and be willing to apologize, but it still hurts that the opportunity was rejected.

Last edited by FooZe; Jun 11, 2012 at 02:32 PM. Reason: added trigger icon

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  #2  
Old Jun 09, 2012, 03:32 AM
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Leed Leed is offline
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Hey, you did the best you could. You made your amends, and faced it -- if your apology wasn't accepted there's nothing YOU can do about it. You did what you could -- the rest was up to her. Now she has to live with the resentment - and resentment is the "poison that I take to kill you." So SHE is the one suffering for NOT forgiving you.

I applaud you for your actions. You took care of your anger issues and you "manned up" and faced these issues. Not many people have the guts to do that. That REALLY took guts! You should be proud of yourself. I hope you continue to take steps to keep your anger under control.

Thanks for the post. I'm sure it will help others with the same issues. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee
Thanks for this!
Justbyou
  #3  
Old Jun 09, 2012, 03:41 AM
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Justbyou Justbyou is offline
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Thanks Leed! I do feel very proud of myself and relieved. It had been eating me up for a very long time.
Hugs from:
Leed
  #4  
Old Jun 09, 2012, 06:21 AM
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sweetandsour sweetandsour is offline
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that's very nice from your behalf it is very uncommon to find someone caring to appologise for their acts and for you after quite a while you came to realise that you were wrong and you assumed the consiquences. better late than never.
i'm proud of you.
take care and keep being nice
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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."
  #5  
Old Jun 10, 2012, 09:00 AM
sshannon sshannon is offline
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You abused them and expect them to just jump and say I forgive you? It doesn't all ways work like that. Just cos 1 didn't want your "sorry" doesn't mean that person hasn't forgiven you. Maybe they have and that's why that person didn't show up.
  #6  
Old Jun 10, 2012, 05:17 PM
Confusedinomicon Confusedinomicon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed View Post
Hey, you did the best you could. You made your amends, and faced it -- if your apology wasn't accepted there's nothing YOU can do about it. You did what you could -- the rest was up to her. Now she has to live with the resentment - and resentment is the "poison that I take to kill you." So SHE is the one suffering for NOT forgiving you.
There are also those who rather keep the past to the past and don't want to interact with bad parts of this past. I've done this and I'm guilty of not forgiving people...however I don't live in resentment just because I never forgave them. I don't want them to be a part of my life anymore but I'm not brooding over them. I don't feel like I'm suffering, but maybe you think I am.

---

Justbyou I think you should be proud of yourself that you identified and worked through a problem. You will probably never be totally forgiven for the actions you've taken, but you're being the bigger person by forging a more positive future and apologizing to those who will accept it. Just because someone doesn't take it, it doesn't mean they "hate" or "resent" you. Good luck in your recovery.
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  #7  
Old Jun 10, 2012, 08:25 PM
IceCreamKid IceCreamKid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sshannon View Post
You abused them and expect them to just jump and say I forgive you? It doesn't all ways work like that. Just cos 1 didn't want your "sorry" doesn't mean that person hasn't forgiven you. Maybe they have and that's why that person didn't show up.
I agree with Sshannon.
  #8  
Old Jun 11, 2012, 02:27 PM
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Justbyou Justbyou is offline
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Shannon & Confused- Thank you for helping me see it though her eyes. I never thought of it that way.
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  #9  
Old Jun 11, 2012, 05:43 PM
sshannon sshannon is offline
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Your welcome
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attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




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