[Jenn1fer82]

I'm looking for advice about online dating. I've been single for a year now. I've used online dating when I was younger, I'm 30 now.

How should I approach online dating?

If Im communicating with someone but if they are not responding as quick such as they wouldn't contact me 2 or more days later does that mean I should just forget about that guy and move on? If a guy is really interested in me I would assume they would want to respond back asap.

Should I wait for men to initiate the contact or is it okay for me to make the first move?

[Jan1212]

I guess you should move on but I would think some people don't check their emails often and some people just won't respond if they are not interested. so I would send in another mail. There's so many different people online that everyone responds different, and a lot of people are not in a rush, and some are. the general online dating etiquette is to be straight-forward, find out common interests, pick someplace public and go on a date

It's perfectly fine for you to initiate chatting with a guy

[Eliza Jane]

I absolutely think that it is okay for the girl to make the first move. However, i will warn you that in my experience little comes of it unless the guy approaches you first. I have many possible explanations for this. I suspect guys are still more old-fashioned than not. I also think that part of it is that guys are so visually driven that they are not going to even read your profile if they don't think you are hot (whatever that means to them personally). If they think you are attractive they will contact you first. For me, contacting guys and having so many "good fits" ignore me was too hard on my ego. I stopped contacting men and waited for them to approach me. It felt much better for me that way.

Also, only use sites you pay for. The free ones have a much larger group of people looking for quick fun rather than real dating. Free ones also have a lot of no longer active people with profiles.

It did work out for me.... few months ago I got married to a guy that I met on match.com!

Lots of luck!
EJ

[scorpiosis37]

I agree with Eliza Jane. It's fine to make the first move but, more often than not, if the guy is interested HE will contact you. Unless there is that initial physical attraction (based on your photo), it's probably not going to lead anywhere.

Also, if you do send an e-mail to a guy, and you don't get a response, I would advise against sending a second one. If he's interested, he'll definitely contact you. No response = not interested. Therefore, multiple e-mails is usually a big turn off. (At least, it was for me when I was online dating!) It makes you look desperate and like you're not getting the hint.

Best of luck! I met my girlfriend 1 year ago through an online dating site, so it really can work!

[BDPpartner]

Althought i agree with everything already said, i do believe that if you are the type of person that would approach a guy in a bar for example; then you should not act any differently online. The biggest trap i think people fall into is not acting like themselves when internet dating. So my advise be yourself, be patient ( i for one am guilty of phases of not checking emails ) some people may not have continual access to there emails and be safe. I went a little overboard perhaps, and brought and used a pay as you go phone for initial phone contact. And i always met in a place of my choosing, somewhere i knew so i felt more comfortable. But not somewhere that i hang out at a lot coz i didn't want any awkward unplanned meetings, especially if i wasn't interested for some reason. It does work but even with internet dating you may have to kiss the odd toad. Good positive thoughts and good luck keep us posted, it's nice to hear when things work out

don't

[Suki22]

I'm from the school of thought that guys need to be attracted to women first so I wait for them to contact me. if they are interested they will and they totally have in the past. it works for me.

personally, I don't like to waste a lot of my time with the back and forth with emails. some people are so funny online and total duds in person and vice versa. I meet them fairly soon because really the attraction should be in person. too many guys want to string girls along online and I don't like to be toyed with.

I set up a public place to meet for a drink. I email a friend and let them know the location and any info I have on the guy (usually a first name, a screen nameand website, and their cell number.

I tell my date that I'm meeting them for one drink and after an hour, either one of us can walk away, no hard feelings. seriously, I once sat for three hours and listened to a guy drone on about his father's death. really not appropriate first date discussion (not to the extent he took it) and I couldn't get a word in edge-wise. after that I realized my time is far too valuable. I've had dates that lasted for hours after the one hour check-in. I've had dates where we decided we weren't really that attracted to each other and left after an hour. I only wished I had figured this out much earlier in my dating career.

take any of my advice or leave it. that's just what works for me. good luck!

[Harley47]

My advice? Secure a record of everything I ever did while dating online, study it, and do the polar opposite of what I did.

But in seriousness, be careful. I would recommend a dating site, preferably a subscription based one if you can. That naturally filters out a lot. I would wait for the guy to initiate, but that's me, and I'm old fashioned.

Meet in public for the first few dates, until you feel secure/safe with the guy. It is, mostly, a pure safety thing, as I understand it.

The biggest thing I can offer? Be honest. Totally honest. Type as you would normally speak. Don't filter yourself (aside from the natural "Let me not blurt everything on my mind" filter ). You don't want to create an image of yourself that doesn't match you. Additionally, be very mindful of how easy a thing that is to do. Falling in love with that you think someone is can be an awful thing to do.

At the same time, I just got out of a relationship that started (and ended) online, and I just did quit that aspect of dating because of it. I wouldn't call myself bitter over it, but I am biased against it. Thus, take my advice with a grain of salt.

[Mike_J]

I think most men like it when women make the first move, takes so much pressure off of them lets them know you are at least a bit interested in them. And I think lots of times guys wait to get back to a woman because they don't want to seem desperate and needy.

Wish I had some great advice about how to avoid all the "games" that are played during dating but I don't, heck I don't even know what the rules are.