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#1
Jul 14, 2012, 09:23 AM
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My husband says things to me and then when I'm offended he tells me he was just joking and that I 'm too sensitive. Like this morning I had made our sons birthday cake and I was so proud because there was a difficult color of gold and I was able to get it just right.Hos comment was that looks like mustard. I felt awful and kind of made fun of. This is just one example. It's becoming an everyday thing. If I do something there's some little dig about how it's not good.Sometimes he says he's joking a lot of the time he doesn't. I know making fun of my icing color is not a huge thing but it's symptomatic of a bigger problem bordering on disrespect imo. Am I just majorly overreacting?
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 ba.ll.oo.n, dailyhealing, kindachaotic
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 dailyhealing, kindachaotic
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#2
Jul 14, 2012, 09:58 AM
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In my opinion you are not overreacting! He is your husband and is supposed to make you feel better about yourself, not worse.
 And the fact that he does not take you seriously when you tell him you are offended is even worse. I would say that making fun of icing color is kind of a big thing, at least in the context. You went to a lot of trouble to make a nice birthday cake for your son and he then puts you down? The other concern in all of this is that your son (and other kids if you have them) sees his father treating you this way. That is his male role model, and that's not a good thing to teach him. Is it possible to have a bigger sit down where you talk about it and tell him he needs to change his behavior towards you? Thanks for posting this and I hope you will let us know how it is going.
__________________
dailyhealing "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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| kindachaotic
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#3
Jul 14, 2012, 10:21 AM
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He is supposed to make you feel good. That should be his one and only concern. It is very important to address this with him because over time this sort of thing will poison and destroy relationships.
__________________
YOU are a beautiful, inherently powerful, irreplaceable, unique and wonderful being of infinite worth and value. |
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#4
Jul 14, 2012, 11:32 AM
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Thank you both for the reassurance. Sometimes he makes me feel like I am insane because the things he does bother me so much. We have been talking about this same issue for literally years now and he never seems to get it. It's just nice to feel validated a little and maybe all of our issues are not about me saying "oh poor me!"
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| dailyhealing
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#5
Jul 14, 2012, 01:49 PM
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You say this has gone on for years. Maybe it's time to be more blunt.
Hub: gold icing looks like mustard. You: hmm.. didn't see you running in to help. (get gold color just right). or next year you can make the cake. My dad has always treated my mom like this, they are 79yrs old now... I swore from seeing this as a child I wouldn't let anyone do it to me. My brother who is 4yrs younger is sort of opposite. Let his ex & current wife treat him similar to how dad treats mom. Something of concern with your son having this as example of how to treat women when he gets of age & maybe even you later. This is just my 2cents, no offense intended. Take care of yourself. 
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| dailyhealing
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